Here’s a piece of fan fiction I wrote some time ago.
Innkeeper: How do you like the party?
Uther: It’s fine, thank you. Your hospitality is most welcome, old friend.
Gives me and my troops time to recuperate, and rethink our attack strategy for the next few days.
As long as the wine is flowing, and my men are content, I’m happy.Let them have their fun. For some of these soldiers, this will be their last. Who knows how many will return here next week?
There was a tough battle today under Dalaran. Many have fallen. The Lich King’s forces have unleashed some kind of plague on us.
I’ve never seen so many twisted bodies in one place, and I have been in the service of Azeroth for so long.The stench and rot of that battlefiled will follow me into my nightmares.
Ah, sometimes I wonder if this war is not a futile effort. How do you defeat the dead? They just keep coming back. Those good folks we lost today will be joining the undead ranks by tomorrow.
Innkeeper:You need something to alleviate this malaise. Let me fix you something strong. On the house.
Uther:Your finest ale, please.Make it a double. Thanks.
[The dwarf prepares two drinks. Uther salutes with one glass, uttering “for victory”, and gulps both down.]
Uther: This toast would have been more effective, if you also participated.
Innkeeper: You know I don’t drink when I’m tending the bar. Sorry, Uther.
Uther:That’s alright.
[Uther puts down the empty glass with determination, and belches softly under his breath.]
Uther: We need the mages’ assistance in the war effort. I’ll have to talk to Jaina. Is she here?
Innkeeper:Can’t you hear her singing?
Uther:Is that what that awful tuneless racket is?
Innkeeper:Yea, she’s a beautiful woman, but she’s no canary. Apparently, it’s a new fad, so I’ve adopted it. They call it karaoke. It’s a demonic invention.Very popular practice in the infernal depths. They let anyone bold enough to get on a stage and perform. Talent or no talent. Only the demons could have come up with such a twisted form of entertainment.
Just don’t repeat that to Gu’ldan, or he’ll be offended.Look at him grimacing.Either he ate something disagreeable, or Jaina’s performance has finally rattled his nerves.
Uther: What is that she’s singing , anyway?
Innkeeper:Her rendition of the famous “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme a pack after midnight.”
Uther:Apparently, not famous enough . Never heard of it. What is that about- a secret repressed craving of an ex-smoker?
[The dwarf chuckles heartily.]
Innkeeper:You’re not much of a music person, are you, Uther? But I like your sense of humor.
Looks like that ale did the trick.
The notable quartet of Alexastrasza, Baku, Antonidas and Belial composed the original many moons ago. It became this tavern’s anthem at every pre-release event.
I just wish they would shorten their name to something manageable, like I dunno, ABBA, for instance. It takes me ages to write their names side by side on every advertising leaflet.
Uther: Oh, right. The ever-running card game. How is that coming about?
Innkeeper: It’s the usual source of good-natured bickering and power struggles. Only without your much needed joviality.
Your prolonged absence from the players’ table has been
noticed.
Uther: Tell the others I’ll be back soon. There’s just been a lot on my mind lately.
Uther: What event were you talking about there?
Innkeeper:I was building up to that.
You see , I need your recruits’ assistance with some chores in a few hours.You are welcome to lend a helping hand as well.
Sweeping around the inn, preparing greeting signs to put them up on the roof. Are some of your men trained in putting out and containing fires?
[Uther laughs.]
Uther: Expecting someone? A fleet of fire mages? A coven of vengeful witches are coming to collect their overdue debt for decorating your tavern last year, with plans of arson on their minds?
Innkeeper: Yes, but not any of the ones you’ve mentioned. The dragons are coming. You know, in their overexcitement, they can easily torch something.Or someone.
They’re not newcomers to Azeroth;some dragons have been here for ages. Remember the battle at Blackrock Mountain? Well, this time they’re bringing in reinforcements from the distant north. Hey, you can ask them to aid you in battle. Just be courteous.
The dragons are a strange and noble kin. They like to be treated with utmost respect.
Uther: Very well. I’ll help with what I can.
Innkeeper: Great, thanks. Can you tend to some customers for a short spell? I need to oversee the cleaning of the Battlegrounds pens at the back. It’s a new activity we’re hosting. I’ll tell you more when I get back.
I can never get the Murloc stench out of that place in time for the next show.
