My name is Fret and I have a confession

General Discussion
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So this forum is pretty much the only place I’ve ever revealed this, so I’m just going to go with it and see what people think. I’m not looking to change my ways right now as I’m single, living on my own, no kids or significant other to concern myself with. I’m not in a bad state, far from it, but I also realize that the way I live isn’t “normal”, as far as what we deem normal nowadays.

For the last 1-2 years, I rarely go a day without drinking and smoking marijuana before I play Overwatch. I literally don’t remember the last time I played Overwatch sober, meaning without a drink or a joint first.

I feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone here in the US where they basically deliver cannabis to your door like pizza. I grew up in the UK so this is all quite new for me.

I guess I’m just curious what other members odd habits are and if anyone else has found themselves where I am. I do notice people in comp and when we get talking in vc they tell me they’re also high, or they’ve popping open another beer, etc. But I’m not sure if they’re like me, in that they won’t even game any more unless they’re high and on that other level.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that normal life can become a little mundane at times. And alcohol and weed combine to elevate me to a place where I’m just a lot more introspective of my self, my faults, my good points, it makes me zone in more when I play Overwatch, like really zone in to the point sometimes I forget what I’m doing and just run off instinct and I hear “damn nice bubble Zarya” and I didn’t even notice I did it, it just happens.

Of course I don’t just get intoxicated and play games, I learn musical instruments, go to the gym, but everything just feels better once I’m “up there” and gaming has just falling in to it as well. Like if I go to the gym and I’m sober and not high, I know it’s going to be a boring workout. but if I’m flying, and have some good music on, it’s on.

I just can’t picture myself sitting at my computer for hours playing games like I did when I was younger and sometimes that saddens me because it hints that maybe I’ve lost that natural passion and fire I had inside me as a kid, running to the local store to buy $2 cassette tape games for my Commadore 64, where every game took 5 minutes to load up! But that can also be put down to those being the early days where everything was fresh and new.

I’m not sure why I’m telling anyone this. I guess I’m just interested to see what other peoples odd habits are and if anyone’s been where I am.

:tropical_drink::wind_face::video_game:

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I am depressed most of the time but despite this I made a vow to never drink or smoke to try to quench it. I deal with it as a man should, no need for shortcuts.

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Sounds like you addicted, maybe even depressed. And I’m not judging - just speaking from personal experience.

If this was about a friend of mine, I would definitely suggest for them taking a break from substances and games, maybe even seeking professional help. Because it’s a dark road ahead, if everything feels “dull” without stimulants.

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Which of none will do you any good on the longterm. If you keep smoking that crap you will be so dumb at the end that the only job you will be able to perform is taking out the trash. I had some friends at my university who were smoking it for many years every day and the once bright people become complete apes whose first and last thing to think of is when to smoke the next joint. Just a warning and not an advice, you do whatever you want with your life. I also drink almost every day and that has other issues like next day half of the day you will feel like sheit, hangover for half day but just can’t get through the week without it. I also miss being a kid and not having to work and miss that buzz what videogames created back in the 90s when you could not wait to dialin with your 56k modems at night to play StarCraft on battle.net but unfortunately those times will never come back. However Blizzard always manages to amaze me with their great games, no other games I ever played that much as Blizzard games. I put together a new gaming rig like a year ago, not considering singleplayer 1 shot games like Shadow of the tombraider or Farcry 5, all the other multiplayers I played next to OW did not provide the same experience. It feels like this game suckers you in completely and make you want to ignore every other titles ever. There are about 100-200 games per week released on Steam (which is if you think of that is only 1 single distribution platform next to Origin and many others) and most of them are complete junk or you get tired of them quick.

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I’m totally open to the possibility of depression. I even often think to myself during my lows… “Do I have depression?”. But I’ve never spoken to a professional about it so I don’t know but I feel it inside. The drugs are a momentary escape from reality. It’s like I can dive in to the game world and drift away for a short while, before getting back to the grind the next morning.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. I do work, pay bills, play a musical instrument and work out 3-4 days a week, etc.

The thing is, I actually love it, like genuinely love the sensation of being high and your head is buzzing. It’s like an escape from the real world for a brief moment, and it’s bliss, and when you come back down to reality it’s always like “ahh…we here again”.

I think about when this phase will pass, because everything comes to an end, even stars. I think about if I ever get married, have kids, and obviously the love you will have for your family will push aside all of these recreational habits, because I’ll be too busy helping changin’ nappies and running to the store to buy baby food so obviously that will be a new chapter in life where these substances cannot co-exist. But until then…I feel like there’s no reason to stop.

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That’s great dude, kudos to you for making that decision and having the self control to stick to it :clap:

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Everything in moderation.

That term gets banded about a lot, but it’s true. A bit of almost anything won’t hurt (except drinking bleach), but if weed is something you “need” everyday, then that’s a problem.

Edit: Actually, I don’t wanna share that here, OW forums aren’t a mature place for discussing that.

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the hardest drug i ever take before gaming is coffee… and frankly that sort of throws my aim of a few games…

I have no idea what cannabis would do you your ability to play the game… frankly i cant imagine its very helpful…

i could imagine nicotine may have beneficial calming effect if you ignore the fact that its a poison to the body and that the amount of nicotine in on cigarette if injected into the blood stream could kill two full grown men…

Tea is probably beneficial though since it offers a slight kick of coffin but a very minor one not likely to effect the biorhythm to much and effect aim…

using a suggary drink to keep your blood suggar level up may aid in aim though again that an easy way to get fat…

Mt Dew is a dangerous habit lol… *guiltily eyes his recycling bit ful of cans*

Also sugar is probably by far the most addictive thing anyone ever runs into…

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This was my first thought when I read this thread. Been frequenting some forums in the past, but knowing the general style of these official OW community forums, my alarm bells went off. Still, so far I’m pleasantly surprised.

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I’m so disappointed with myself because I used to smoke cigarettes for 15 years. I decided to quit cold turkey around 5 years ago and at the same time I also stopped buying sugar, soda (coke, etc) and dairy cows milk. Since I stopped smoking, I can now hold my breath twice as long and overall feel like my lungs have improved so much. Since I stopped drinking cows milk and consuming less dairy, my digestive system feels so much better and I get less stomach upsets and cramps, and I don’t even need to go in to the benefits of reducing or removing white sugar from our diets, it’s straight up poison.

I think like with most things, it affects everyone differently. My first experience with weed was when I was a teenager in London, it was 1989, and I hated it. I threw up, mainly because me and my friends at the time were just kids had no idea how to consume thing the right way and we were drinking too, which was all quite a shock to the body for a young person. I was like a baby dipping his feet in the water.

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BTW if anyone is having a bad day, my season high is 2999.

I use it as a tool though. Whenever I find a team mate who sounds tilted and negative from the last game, I just tell them to go check my season high and pretty soon they’re feeling better :rofl:

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i wouldn’t call sugar poison… but we certainly get way to much of it…

from the point of evolution where stil living in caves starving to death more often then not so any thing high in sugar or carbo hydrates or fat is going to be gold…

But really where not in that situation rigth now so we are kinda wired all wrong…

But even knowing all that its really hard to avoid… *he says after having eaten a huge piece of birthday cake*

DAMN YOU EVOLUTION AND YOUR INFINITLY SLOW RESPONSE TIME TO CHAGNE!!!

*eats more cake shaking his fist at no place in particular*

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Don’t take my word for it, I work in the medical field and am surrounded by immunologists and oncologists all the time and they tell me how dangerous white sugar is for us and the strong link between it and cancer. From their own mouths, it really is like “poison” for us :roll_eyes:

One of the best things I ever did was quit cigarettes and buying white sugar. Now I just drink tea or coffee either sugarless or with a tea spoon of honey instead which is nature’s natural sugar and actually good for us.

:smile: I have similar weaknesses when it comes to cake. Once a week I have to pig out on a good slice of cake or cheesecake as a reward or treat to look forward to.

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Hello mate. So sorry to hear about all your trials and tribulations, but the fact that you’re still going AND holding down a job and stuff shows a lot of strength and resilience on your part.

I definitely agree that professional help from experienced, educated individuals would be great in the future for us. I’m never too proud to say no to good advice and help from older, wiser people.

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