SKKRRIIT–
“Ahoy”
“And good day folks!”
“We’re here to kindly inform you that your radio frequency has been boarded!”
“And boarding your local radio station are:”
“Radio stations, mon!”
“Chip!”
“Skipper.”
“Valerie!”
“Cutlass Carl!”
“Jinji, de Numba One Siren of de South Seas an’–”
“BON-BON BIGGEST, MEANEST OOKER OF THE SEVEN SEAS!!”
“An’ ya be listenin’ ta’-”
“Pirate Radio!”
“Avast, Carl!”
“Valerie?”
“Have ya heard?”
“What’s the word on deck!?”
“RIOT ALL WEEK! OOK-OOK!! OOK!”
“Dat be right, it be riot night! An’ fa’ da latest news we be lookin’ to our crow’s nest! Ay, Skipper! Chip! What be goin’ down downtown!?”
“Glad ye asked, matey! It’s riot night and Chip and I have our spyglasses trained on the action! Right, Chip?”
“So it is, Skipper! We’ve got people walkin’ ‘ere, walkin’ there, but most important we’ve got a lot of ACTION going down around the Incontinental Hotel!”
“Isn’t it InTERcontinental?”
“Nobody likes a smartmouth, bucko.”
“Alright, alright, sheesh! Folks, we’ve got a long line of local landlubbers marching for Pleasant Heights!”
“How big, Skipper”
“Oh, ya know, only about ALL of Undermine ready to tell Mr. Chrome King over in his palace how we’re gonna keelhaul his chin across the seven seas and then quarter that starfish-suckin’, seaweed-mimickin’ dungbie coxswain!”
“Whoa, language gents! Ya know the crow’s nest is mad when they’re throwing in an EXTRA pirate insult!”
“Well, Skip’ and I are happy that there’s a riot, right Skip?”
“Right ya are, bucko! And here we have another Darkfuse ABANDONING SHIP in the face of mutiny! Oh, if only ya could see it!”
“Aye, and ye know what else I spy!? Right there, by Pleasant Heights I spy a shredder getting SHREDDED!”
“Oooh, good catch! That’s a lotta gas, and… BOOM!”
“That shredder’s TOAST! Oh, Bon-Bon if only ye could see!”
“SHREDDER GO BOOM! OOK-OOK! PARTYYYY!”
“Party be de word! Ya be listenin’ ta Pirate Radio, serenadin’ ya good mons of Undermine LIVE wi’ goblin tunes o’ Booty Bay, Eastern Kingdoms! Be keepin’ up ya spirits, an’ rememba’ ta’ give Gallywix da big bad voodoo! Full broadsides, me mates!”
“Smooooooth sailin’!”