Sheās my latest victā¦ cheerful young lass I have chosen to flirt with for the next few days until she becomes panic-stricken and phones the police.
I havenāt even gotten round yet to sending her the half eaten box of chocolates so itās gonna be fun.
I donāt like the sound of thatā¦ I feel like i had to come back and reply to this.
I struggle with things too. And the closer to āādeathāā i comeā¦ the more I see the things and the path to become the one I want to be and the life I want to lead ahead of me.
I hope you get trough thisā¦ And whatever happens manifest and become and live the life youāve always wanted to lead.
Donāt be afraidā¦ I know me saying this doesnt help much. And im telling my self this as much as to you.
But death is not the endā¦ People close to death would tell you. They donāt really feel like this is the end. Its like standing on the train stastion, And like your leaving to go somewhere else.
I smoke and drink allotā¦ Do the occesional drug here and there. Trust me when i tell you ive laid in bed feeling like my heart was about to give out any moment. To afraid to fall asleep and that I wouldnāt wake up again.
Then a calm settles inā¦ And its almost as if I can see whats next. ā¦And im no longer afraid. I mean I am a little bitā¦ But I dont dread it as much as i used too. But I want to live, For my mother and my sister and family.
Sucks to hear your suffering dude I donāt wish that upon you.
every time you rebuild you find there is a couple of pieces which no longer fit in the same place anymore. so every time you end up slightly differentā¦
be it negativeā¦ depressedā¦ you name itā¦ but those little pieces eventually take over if u keep breaking and become the main part of you.