Hope its nothing seriousā¦ But at least its always better to find out sooner than later when it comes to things like these.
I am always drop dead serious on this beautiful forum.
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Iām not kissing Kitiaara! Whatās wrong with you!?
You ever seen her make toast? She just impales it on a fork and breathes on each side.
Who is Kitiaara?
Iāve been away from forum from almost a day
mmm baconā¦ pity the Clown muted the thread
honestly at this point i wouldnāt care if it was.
but hey thats my mental state talking there ā¦
Hah same 
Sheās my latest victā¦ cheerful young lass I have chosen to flirt with for the next few days until she becomes panic-stricken and phones the police.
I havenāt even gotten round yet to sending her the half eaten box of chocolates so itās gonna be fun.
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Souldefiler, i guess you remember me, donāt ya?
I doā¦ Hello wolfylock 
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Hey, look at my tattoos!
I will! But firstā¦
I donāt like the sound of thatā¦ I feel like i had to come back and reply to this.
I struggle with things too. And the closer to āādeathāā i comeā¦ the more I see the things and the path to become the one I want to be and the life I want to lead ahead of me.
I hope you get trough thisā¦ And whatever happens manifest and become and live the life youāve always wanted to lead.
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squints
Mom??
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itās a processā¦
iāll spare the details but yeah ā¦ things do not look good for me at all right now.
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Donāt be afraidā¦ I know me saying this doesnt help much. And im telling my self this as much as to you.
But death is not the endā¦ People close to death would tell you. They donāt really feel like this is the end. Its like standing on the train stastion, And like your leaving to go somewhere else.
Im telling The God Spirit about this
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donāt worry bud, im not dying
at least i donāt think i am much to my disgustā¦ lol
people like me donāt die we just suffer.
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I smoke and drink allotā¦ Do the occesional drug here and there. Trust me when i tell you ive laid in bed feeling like my heart was about to give out any moment. To afraid to fall asleep and that I wouldnāt wake up again.
Then a calm settles inā¦ And its almost as if I can see whats next. ā¦And im no longer afraid. I mean I am a little bitā¦ But I dont dread it as much as i used too. But I want to live, For my mother and my sister and family.
Sucks to hear your suffering dude 
I donāt wish that upon you.
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well its the endless cycleā¦
build, break, rebuild , build, break,rebuildā¦
every time you rebuild you find there is a couple of pieces which no longer fit in the same place anymore. so every time you end up slightly differentā¦
be it negativeā¦ depressedā¦ you name itā¦ but those little pieces eventually take over if u keep breaking and become the main part of you.
that is when the problem begin.
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