A possible avenue if one wishes to Roleplay a blank slate as it were.
Wouldn’t it be possible to have a night elf that hates themselves but then uses that anger to fuel themselves?
I did try and read up some and from what I saw they need to inflict suffering/pain to keep going so potentially you could use that anger outwards on your enemies?
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That would be possible, yes. Zeal, in a sense.
This is a very weird thing that keeps being said for years.
Redemption in the eyes of Elune (despite unachievable probably), fear of eternal damnation as the alternative if you dont make it (pretty reasonable to assume thats where you go as a Dk, esp when shades start haunting you), and the wish to protect your own are very good reasons to not kill yourself as a night elf DK.
I’d argue the only reason you mightnot want to RP a night elf AND a DK at that, is because
A. Night elf lore is super vast
B. DK lore is pretty vast and also tricky to pull off with no previous RP experience.
Edit: Another reason to not off yourself is simple spite and bitterness towars your goddess (who didn’t help you) and your people (who hate you for something that isn’t your fault). Your Ebon brothers and sisters are now your family.
See, not that hard
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https://eu.battle.net/forums/en/wow/topic/2504881097
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-XnYZv2Kis
These are two great guides I could recommend taking a look into if you specifically going to Roleplay a Death Knight.
As for guilds you are aiming for Alliance I presume I have set up a small gathering of guilds I can recommend.
Night Elves are indeed slightly ‘‘more complicated’’ to roleplay due to the nature of their race but I would only recommend you to try to read more into the specific lore of their race instead of encouraging you to step into another race instead if that is what you want.
< The Ebonsworn >
‘‘Dark Protectors of Azeroth’’ type of guild. We combine the ‘‘Brotherhood’’ vibe of WotLK and the ‘‘Military’’ side of Legion. We are a ‘‘Acting Unit’’ of the Ebon Blade roaming areas to serve the Ebon Blade’s interest. Short in short we do ‘‘bad’’ stuff to achieve good things.
< The Dark Grail >
Lawful Evil Order of the Ebon Blade. While they see their duty to protect the living, they do not see it necessary to be involved with them beyond protecting them. They rely on their vows and duty to the Ebon Blade instead of morals.
< Ebon Ranger >
Chaotic Neutral/Good Ebon Blade affiliated group, aiming to maintaining the balance between life and death with their forces mainly focused on Shadowlands and what lies beyond the veil. Working with the living is not an issue for them yet they are well aware that the living might not approve of their methods. But they do what the living cannot and they will continue doing that.
https://www.argentarchives.org/search/node/Ebon+Ranger
< Hand of Thassarian >
The guild is an Alliance-based undead concept consisting mainly of death knights, yet other out-of-character classes are welcome as long as the character, in-character, is an undead, or uses powers of the undead – such as necromancers, et cetera. We are creators, and joiners of both large and small events, and participants of war campaigns. The events include training days, travelling, missions, and cross-faction warfare, either guild only or other guilds and communities. As we are an event and campaign structured guild, we do also have casual roleplay within and about Deadwind Pass, and within the main Alliance roleplay hubs – Duskwood and Stormwind City.
< The Crypt Seekers >
Not a company consisting of the undead alone, the Seekers’ cadre of Ebon Blade members is still rather sizeable. A group of adventurers and treasure hunters, they also do the occasional hunt for rogue necromancers or other common targets of the Ebon Blade, thanks to their leader being a Death Knight. The Crypt Seekers are not fully affiliated with the Alliance and are neutral towards the Horde. The group’s general alignment also can best be described as true neutral; The main goal being to always keep their own casualties as low as possible while making the largest monetary profit they can.
https://www.argentarchives.org/node/233521
< The Eclipse >
Soldiers of the Alliance, living and undead whom march a bleak path, working under the wing of an Ebon Knight with unwavering loyalty to the King and Crown. Despite this they share a code of immoral edicts, posing no qualms with studying nor wielding eldritch darkness.
https://www.argentarchives.org/node/233521
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There’s also us, the Onslaught which is both Alliance and Horde side.
Should you wish to learn more about DK RP, I’d recommend taking a look at our thread:
https://eu.forums.blizzard.com/en/wow/t/ebon-rp-a-h-the-ebon-onslaught-on-the-hunt/68338
Then again, a NE DK would be -difficult- to pull off for a new Roleplayer.
I’d suggest you observe, first and see what you’d like to RP.
Start with an human, always simple - versatile!
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Night Elf Death Knights usually played in two different roles.
Either they surrendered themselves of their past, do not really look back into their cultural roots as a Night Elf and just focus on his/her task as a Death Knight.
Or you are someone who still value of what s/he used to be but understand that his people will never fully accept what s/he have become and attempt to seek to do good with that s/he is now while still ‘‘respecting’’ the past.
Night Elves are way harder on Undead than the Draenei are so I tend to see Night Elves Death Knights getting more tough approach by his/her fellow race.
As you asked for pitfalls. Don’t hang around bars, inns or other places ‘normal’ characters do if you don’t have a good reason. You’re a hated abomination, your order (the Ebon Blade) did and still does some questionable stuff, and you are undead, you also have some pretty bad emotional problems as you’ll see when you read a bit into DK lore. There’s hardly a reason for you to hang out in most normal hubs.
Which leads to another problem and a reason to not RP a DK as the first RP char. RP is hard to come by as a DK unless with your fellow other DK RPers, which there are luckily quite a bit around currently.
Wasn’t there a comic in which Thassarian (the human DK) went to a bar in Stormwind? I never read the comic, though, so I don’t know how that ended for him.
Thassarian traveled to Stormwind and met with King Varian Wrynn who accepted the Knights of Ebon Blade as allies and readmitted its members as members of the Alliance. After this, he went to the Blue Recluse for a drink. He chose this place because he used to come here for the great food, drinks and conversation. He started such a conversation with the innkeeper Steven Lohan when he ordered a mug of ale. Steven told him he heard of the king’s announcement and asked him what he’ll do when the Lich King is dead. When Steven asked him if he’ll return to his family, Thassarian simply said he had no family.
https://wow.gamepedia.com/Thassarian
It is correct that there are those Death Knights who still value some aspect of their former lives while there are those who have forsake it completely.
Or don’t take your living IC GF to a tour of Acherus, its not a circus nor a place any living member would want to be!
Anyways
Looks at Tyrande and Maiev practically begging Sira and Delaryn to return to the Night Elves after being raised…
Tbf; I think not all Night Elves are as hard as Undeath as you’d think… Ofcourse it could’ve been those two were the odd ones out?
But like I said; Ebon Onslaught is a good guild to go as new DK! They have a active RP group on both Alliance and Horde-side, thus you get the true “Knights of the Ebon Blade”-feeling instead of hanging around with just another group of Alliance Death Knights! 
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I think it’s mostly a question of whether it should be done, rather than if it could be done.
This.
But as I have said, if you wish to start RP’ing, don’t start on a DK.
In my opinion, it is a bit difficult.
But I wish you good luck for your first adventures!
Please tell me no one has ever actually tried that.
I have no doubt that it is possible, and I think the one time thing from Thessarian after that gathering seems like a fair reason, but by no means should it be something that happens on a regular. Many (not so good) DK RPers actually do it nearly every day. There’s hardly even a reason to RP a DK anymore. Just RP some usual Stormwind knight 
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A whole new world
A necromantic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we’re straight up crazy
A whole new world
A grimy place you never knew
But now from way up here
It’s icy clear
That now I’m in a creepy place with yoooooou
Fair enough. I agree that it’s not a very DK thing to do.
I think that the Night elves really are as anti-undeath as people think they are. The Night elves, with a culture so ingrained with the teachings of nature and the balance, should logically see undeath as an afront to life and all they stand for.
That Tyrande and Maiev ask for the undead Kaldorei not to turn away/against their people, doesn’t really indicate the general night elven population would like them/wouldn’t shun them away.
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It’s chad points
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Stay away from people with connections to nonces and those who defend them.