<The Bilgewater Battalion> Troll Troubles!

Argent Dawn
21
10/07/2018 00:31Posted by Desartin
Also I want my sword back! *shakes fist angrily in the distance*


I'll give back your fancy butt-scracther for a discount, provided you pay a small fee
of course you will also have to pay shipping, the package it will be sendt it and remember to tip the delivery man, his working long shifts to feed his family so show him some kindness.

The Bilgewater Cartel can also not be held responsible if the product arrives in pieces or damaged, however if you want to re-found your order we will take it back for a fee of 25% of the items original price.
we do not allow haggling or our prices er set.

We here at the Bilgewater reclaimation office hope to profit from you again.
22
10/07/2018 00:55Posted by Liaf
I'll give back your fancy butt-scracther for a discount,


Buzz off, that oversized glow stick is going to make a lovely floor lamp in Betti's office!
23
Rain pattered down on the roof of the dilapidated inn which once served the stubborn citizens of Auberdine. It was one of the few shelters safe enough for Betti to start to erect a Battalion command center in even though it leaned slightly where Death Wing had sundered the ground. She would have felt sorry for the people of Auberdine who had the same destroyer attack them as the people of Kezan did all those years ago.

But it didn't matter to the Captain of the Forty Second Unit of the Bilgewater Battalion now. Through the slaughter of Horde labourers throughout the past years and the breaking of countless treaties, she knew that the Night Elves were nothing but savage xenophobes who would happily slaughter innocents to feel vindicated...

She looked around the room as early morning sunlight shone through to the stone floor below and then looked to her sleeping unit. It was the people she was looking at now who she was fighting with and for, and the Bilgewater Battalion would be proud of them, for she believed deep in her heart that her unit would eventually be partly responsible for the victory of the initial Horde pushes which would make way for the Warchief's ultimate advance.

As the sun expelled the rain, she got back to work.
24
I've been running into and interacting with these Goblins in the past few days. Lovely bunch, worth your time and very fun role-players!

Liaf is the best one though. Had some great interactions with him since coming to Ashenvale and Darkshore in the Drums of War Campaign.
25
11/07/2018 13:46Posted by Cacklespine
I've been running into and interacting with these Goblins in the past few days. Lovely bunch, worth your time and very fun role-players!

Liaf is the best one though. Had some great interactions with him since coming to Ashenvale and Darkshore in the Drums of War Campaign.


Aw shucks you're making me blush.
26
After searching for a missing official in Darkshore, we got our information and finally returned to Orgrimmar after helping the Horde gain victory over some of the Alliance forces defending Ashenvale and Darkshore!

However, this came at the cost of:

- Being electrocuted by a malfunctioning artifact tracker.
- Almost losing an axe to an angry clam.
- Being shouted at by an angry spirit in Auberdine.
- Said spirit managing to possess the only Orc in our unit which resulted in us being chased by an angry Orc wearing a loin cloth like Tarzan across Darkshore.
- The angry Orc then catching us and throwing us into a massive whirlpool.
- Watching our medical evac zeppelin getting crashed into the whirlpool causing us to watch as our best chance at escape rained down in pieces around our heads.
- All of us taking an unstable portal created by Liaf back to Orgrimmar and all falling out, thankfully into the water from above the Valley of Honour.

This also means that our recruitment open more than ever if you enjoy this sort of thing!

Uncle Bedlam wants YOU!
27
So what might be in store for our green heros in orange next?

Also
I can happily report that 3/4 Battalion members made it back mentally unharmed.
which is a new personal record.
Go me!
28
The mentally harmed one was me, the only important one.
29
The Battalion might be back in friendly territories but there is still danger and adventure to be had! On the search for a former captain, the glorious soldiers of the Cartel seek reinforcements to help them in their quest for beachfront property and gold!
30
The Battalion now stand at a bit of a crossroads and are taking multitasking to a whole new level! After what was supposed to be a celebratory party turned into a grim warning and a call to arms, our forces have been forced to split up between two entire continents! Here's a bit of an overview:

- Lieutenant Griblix Blastbolt Jr. shall be leading a part of our squad in Part 2 of the Drums of War Campaign! His recent promotion to Lieutenant has put him in a position of command sooner than he first thought as Captain Boomcrank has left him to lead our forces in Lordaeron where the Alliance are reportedly sending a rather hefty skirmishing force.

- Captain Betti Boomcrank and Lieutenant Roxi-Roz Hardbolt meanwhile lead an extraction and reclamation operation in Felwood where the Explorers League have shown their true natures. They've been discovered to be holding Reclamation Captain Mondo Clobbersprocket captive, and years of searching for a collection of extremely rare artifacts are now at risk as they threaten to kill him if he doesn't guide them to them. Will this end in a race for both the artifacts which are in the sights of both the Alliance and the Horde as well as the life of a long serving Battalion Captain?

Either way, recruitment is still OPEN, but we shan't be RPing in any of the major RP hubs for a good while.

Uncle Bedlam needs YOU (More than ever!)
31
Reporting in from the frontline!

We've had some tasty crab-leg soup made by the myth, the legend, our very own Grim. We triked around Tirisfal to get the lay of the land. This just in, it's dead.

Loving my time with these guys so far and I can wholeheartedly recommend these goofballs to anyone out there who wants to rp some honest Bilgewater gobs.
32
I'll be waiting for you pigs when you get back. :gun:
33
Some of us are still in Orgrimmar until tonight. :bigger gun:
34
Unlucky for you, especially with this scoundrel on the run. :even_bigger gun:
35
and it looks like the pole measuring contest is off ladies and gentel gobs.
how will the captain counter the dastardly scoundrel's taunting reply?
who has the bigger gun?

pay a small subscription fee to the bilgewater battalion and you can know the answer ahead of time.
36
Captain Boomcrank's Report - Felwood Extraction Mission - Day One -

Present Battalion Forces: Betti Boomcrank, Roxi-Roz Hardbolt, Wixx Glumfuse, Izvi Cogpocket, Grazzle Gearcog, Kaxdan Seafoot.

- At the eighth hour of the evening we left for Felwood by trike at which point I received reports of some Alliance remnants setting up a blockade between Ashenvale and Felwood.
- We dropped off our trikes at Splintertree Post, agreeing that we could damage our heavy loads of equipment on our backs if we tried to force our way through the blockade, as well as alerting the Alliance to a Battalion presence in Felwood which would jeopardize the target.
- We then passed a cave where a druid was stuck in bear form, evidently he was in bear form when IT happened and the shock caused the bear to take over and run in primal fear. Note: Izvi did not take stealth 101 as she whacked it with a spanner where the sun don't shine when it decided to do its business on her bush disguise.
- The bear chased us all the way past Raynewood Tower, there it succeeded in catching Grazzle and heavily damaging his armour and shield, we managed to get rid of the beast with suppressing fire followed by a blast of arcane which knocked it into an embankment.
- We then moved on to try and bypass the Alliance blockade, climbing through the hills we found a secret altar in a grove where a Night Elf druid was meditating.
- We resolved to take him out non-lethally, it went wrong and the target ended up with minor injuries and maybe a concussion - note that Izvi and Grazzle have engaged in a bittersweet rivalry and do NOT work well together in the field.
- Moving into Felwood we sought rest for the night and some supplies at a Cenarion encampment, though one of the druids seems to blame US for what happened in Darkshore and denied us entry.
- Wixx re-joined us with his 'baa-bomb' explosive sheep as we made our way through Felwood, becoming increasingly weary and wary in the twisted lands.
- It seems that some of the Laughing Sisterhood which once protected the Raynewoods of Ashenvale have retreated to Felwood with the Night Elves. We were ambushed, sustaining two casualties, Izvi and I. It was only the sharp thinking of Roxi and Wixx which saved the day.
- We eventually came across a Horde settlement, it seems to be from the era of Hellscream, but it was completely abandoned when we found it. We have now began to set up defences to make it into our base of operations for now.
- We also scammed the local Cenarions into thinking me and Roxi are Steamwheedle Goblins so we could get supplies and fuel to help Izvi and Grazzle in getting the forge working.
- Kaxdan Seafoot dropped through a portal upon our arrival at the Horde settlement, he was bloodied and beaten, saying things aren't going well in Lordaeron. I set a reminder to give whoever thought it was a good idea to send someone through a one way portal to tell us that a good talking to. He has now joined us in Felwood.
37
Captain Boomcrank's Report - Felwood Extraction Mission - Day Two -

Present Battalion Forces: Betti Boomcrank, Roxi-Roz Hardbolt, Grazzle Gearcog, Izvi Cogpocket and Liaf.

- In the morning we made sure that Kaxdan made it back to Orgrimmar so he could take a portal back to the front, with regret we refrained from reinforcing Lieutenant Blastbolt in Lordaeron due to the severity of our mission.
- We later decided to go on a scouting mission to find out about the area surrounding our temporary base of operations and to try and find some leads on where Captain Clobbersprocket could be.
- Upon heading out onto the main road of Felwood, we instantly noticed that a Kaldorei caravan had been ambushed on the road by a strange slime from the nearby lake, all that was left other than corroded corpses and supplies were a single cart, a wall of slime blocking the bridge and a bubble of slime which seemed to contain something.
- Upon investigating the cart we discovered a refugee child, seen as you up in Command stated that we are only to be hostile towards military forces, we tried to calm the child just to find that she wanted her mother and father who were trapped within the slime bubble.
- Using a freezing trap and conjured mana water to break open the bubble whilst Izvi comforted the child, we soon discovered the parents, the mother speaking broken Orcish to us. At first she was only wary, but Liaf succeeded in causing the family to panic by threatening to kill them. It turned out that she was a powerful mage, and the unit sustained injuries from an arcane assault, with both Liaf and Izvi silenced from casting spells.
- Moving on we came across some ruins which had been excavated by the Explorers League. At the foot of a statue there was a chest which was missing something. A Highborne scholar, seemingly neutral in nature, approached us and told us of the Alliances plans for the 'High Source' and wished for us to confiscate pieces of it before they could activate it. Being a reclamations and extraction unit that's what we do best, and for our agreement she alerted us that Captain Clobbersprocket is being held in Talonbranch Glade.
- Hunting for this other piece of the High Source, we were attacked by living felflames in an infernal crater field. I sent Izvi and Liaf to find the piece whilst I ended up sustaining burns on my face during the fire fight.
- Finding the Abyssal which held the other piece with the High Source piece fuelling its powers, Izvi distracted the monstrosity whilst Liaf threw explosives to topple it. Unfortunately both of them sustained injuries, Izvi being crushed by the falling Abyssal whilst Liaf caught fire trying to jump into the fires to save her. However we successfully claimed a piece of the artifact, I shall have someone research it soon. Liaf now has hazard pay for Izvi added to his debt.
- Returning to base, we were faced with the need to set up even more defences as well as a powerful weapon which could fend off an Alliance assault due to Liaf alerting them of our presence in Felwood.
- We resolved to mine some ore, which me, Grazzle and Roxi endeavoured to do whilst Izvi and Liaf tried to regain their magic.
- Not only did we find a chest full of Highborne finery in the family chest of a ruined home, but we also found a strange purple orb.
- We were then chased into the caves of a Barrow Cave network by a group of cultists, where we found our ore.
- Grazzle went deeper in, but found nothing of interest, or so he says.
- Emerging, Liaf alerted us that a localized arcane storm was forming, so we were forced to all shelter in a single Orcish bunker for the night.
38
24/07/2018 09:02Posted by Bettiboom
but Liaf succeeded in causing the family to panic by threatening to kill them.


In my defence, I only asked they repay the debt they owed us for saving their lives
the insults and accusations about slavery and tree burning, no matter how true, was wholly uncalled for.
39
24/07/2018 23:25Posted by Liaf
In my defence, I only asked they repay the debt they owed us for saving their livesthe insults and accusations about slavery and tree burning, no matter how true, was wholly uncalled for.


You STARTED with a death threat.
40
25/07/2018 07:45Posted by Bettiboom
You STARTED with a death threat.


Clearly she started it when she called me a slaver, lies hurt people, but sometimes the truth hurts even more, you know.