And yea, people will get defensive when it sounds as though someone is sayin “you’re not safe to come out to.” / “can’t be trusted”.
As you [should] well know, coming out isn’t necessarily about sitting people down and tearfully confessing who you are. It’s idly mentioning your boyfriend in conversation, or excitedly talking about your new binder.
Although sex and sexuality aren’t an especially important part of my life (I’m asexual, oh no I just came out), my partner very much is. I will talk about her with people when I feel comfortable enough to pass beyond very casual acquaintances.
If nobody has discussed details like that with you in WoW, like Belok has said, you should examine why that is.
If the idea of people being openly queer is something baffling to you, as Karienn has said, you should definitely examine why.
OK, I examined it and it’s because I don’t talk private life loads apart from sending the boys pics of being in the army/drinking beer.
i could be gay for all they know winks
I guess we’ll just agree to disagree if it’s a problem or not.
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I never thought about coming out being beyond chatting about it tbf. So I get that much and now I guess loadsa people have ‘come out’ to me haha. Though as someone who isn’t … NOT-LGBT+ and fits two pieces of it, tldr is that I don’t want anybody knowing unless I’m good friends with them. So I get that too now I think on it. But in the long run, as I said I don’t want to chat about being LGBT, it can either be that way with whoever someone has met, or that the people who haven’t had someone come out just hasn’t ever crossed the chance to be spoken to.
god i hope that makes sense.
to make more sense:
Someone may not have had someone come out to them for various reasons;
The person who is out may not want to discuss it and out themselves to anybody unless needed (aka trans person, now a guy, just wants to be seen as a guy and not as trans)
It’s just never come up in someone’s life where someone has come out to them.
Is this another repost like the Rick and Morty one?
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I have no issues with people being open, I was just brought up in a time when there was no internet, social media etc, so your sexuality wasn’t really discussed until the person felt it was the right time. I discussed this with my husband over lunch and it is very much more a generation issue than anything.
I’ll use my own step-son as an example as none of you would know him and he doesn’t play WoW any more. He talks about his girlfriends, dating apps, sex life very openly to me, which is great that he feels he can do that, but he talks about his life with people he has just met in very great detail. I find this strange as he probably freaks a lot of people out. (this is more a mental health topic, but bear with me.) I have always waited to tell people about my life until I feel I can trust them as our friendships have developed over time. It was how I was brought up, it is how my peers all behaved. It has taken me a long time not to be ashamed of my own mental health, for example.
Just because I’m older than the average gamer on AD, doesn’t mean I stick rigidly to my own upbringing. I do my best to stay current and understand the problems and issues that other generations are having to deal with, that just weren’t something I had experience of when I was say, 20 years old as an example.
But, because the post in question came from you Starshade, I just took it as the usual thing I get from you, whereby you tell me over and over that I’m a terrible person.
I know others reply to some of my posts to try and make me look stupid because I’m not up to date with the latest memes or slang terms, but I’m not going to apologise for being the age I am with the way of looking at the world that I have. If I keep offending you so much, then just stick me on forum ignore. It’s not like we have anything to do with each other in game, so you really don’t have to read my posts at all.
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I mean I’ve been pretty clear what would change my mind on that subject
Could you humour me and remind me, you have said so many things over the last couple of years. I really won’t create drama over it, I just want to make sure my memory isn’t playing tricks on me.
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yeah that’s fair I talk a lot
Distancing yourself from the Green Knight would be a start, along with taking the allegations against them seriously. Anything more substantive would require a deep dive into my message history which neither of us have the time or energy for
Please tell me you haven’t just been trying to use LGBT people and issues as part of a petty grudge this whole thread.
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I didn’t bring up past grievances until Karienn explicitly asked me to lay them out.
If I point out a problem and the person refuses to deal with it, I’ve done my part and I leave it in their hands. I don’t hold grudges.
The past grievances being there at all is enough for your earlier attitude to be the result of them.
That’s a good enough response and after all this thread isn’t about me.
The thing is, he’s a friend. A good friend, that along with one or two other people know all about my mental health problems and family etc etc. He is not perfect, he has done some really dumb things in the past that I can see raise questions in those who don’t really know him.
I said that if I ever find out he is not rping in a responsible manner, or commits an actual RL crime that some people have already tried to claim he has, then I’ll be gone. But as things are nothing like they used to be back in 2010 and the earlier years of the guild, I’m sticking around. The people in the guild are all lovely people, they really care about RP and other roleplayers and are accepting of everyone, regardless of any part of the players RL sexuality or health or colour etc etc. You get what I’m trying to say I’m sure.
The green chap has supported me, even when I have been one hell of a mess, when we don’t agree on stuff he has compromised, all be it after some pretty loud arguments on skype or discord. So, I guess you’ll just have to go on thinking I’m a terrible person, Starshade. After all, as Perroy has said, in the past dumb things have been said on discords etc that he runs, but no-one asks him to disown those who said them.
I can’t be the person you want me to be, we’ll just have to remain as we were to each other I guess. But, thanks for answering.
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An attitude that you invented and I explicitly denied? That one?
I’m an extremely sassy person. I am not a vindictive one.
alright amigos exchange discord handles so this thread can get back on-course please and thank you.
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I’m happy to give you the benefit of the doubt on this. Just try to take into account how things might come across to others.
One thing I would note here is that online space gives people certain level of anonymity, so sharing stuff casually is much easier. When 99% of people I meet online only know I come from nation of 4,5 million people (and even that´s just because I am really open about what country I´m from and to what nation I belong), it´s easier to be open with them about stuff than I would be with people like my co-workers or other people I know in RL but I´m not a friend with them.
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Pot meet kettle ):<
I’m done, my piece is said
Yeah, I can understand that, my boy tends to do it when he meets people for the first time face to face and without going into the details here, it’s quite some baggage he sadly is carrying.
Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it Dorlas.
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It’s okay Tehya, I have received the explanations I needed to understand better how things are in 2020 where sexuality and homophobia are concerned, and I’m grateful for them.