Hello, I’m Italian but I wanted to play at English realm because there is no one or not too much on the Italian realm and I wanted to start from zero.
I have a doubt about players that have anxiety disorder like me, how they begin treat by others… I’m really shy and everytime I got a guild invitation; I reject because I’m afraid that I’m useless, not a real “gamer” and not active.
Even when we are talking about dungeon or Raids… I loved to participate a raid but I’m afraid that when I will make a mistake, everyone insults me.
Even chat with someone is very hard, not for my language, but for my shyness because I don’t know how to respond propriely.
Hey mate, try to not worry and do everything that comes your way. Get a guild invite: accept it.
If people start to talk to you, talk back. The only way you make your fear go away is by facing it. Dont feel comfortable? Do it
And know there are a lot of salty people online. People who wish you all sorts or things. Dont listen to them and dont get discouraged by them.
You stepping in EU zones is a great first step!
Welcome (:
Guilds raid at various levels. If you went for a casual raiding guild you should be fine. Not all guilds are those horrible yelling types. Many guilds don’t like that kind of behaviour and would rather have a pleasant atmosphere.
Lots of guilds advertise on sites like, you can use the drop down menus to narrow down the choices available to you:-
The more you chat to people the easier it will get. I don’t know how long it took you to write your opening post but your English is very good. Most English realms are used to having a large mix of nationalities and even some of the Brits type terribly
I would advise you look for a guild rather than accepting those random invites you get in game.
Stick to social raiding or mythic+ guilds and not guilds that are competative.
Some players just wants your precense without any pressure at all.
Anxiety is a bastard of a thing mate.
I played myself for years (still do mostly)for the same reasons.
Until one day I just decided to just got for it.
Yeah I messed things up and yeah I got some abuse.
But figured that the people giving the abuse were as faceless to me as I was to them.
Of course its easy for me to say, maybe not so much for you to do.
I’d start by running some low level dungeons as you level up.
Go with DPS as you can get away with the odd mistake (tanking and and healing can come when you’ve got your confidence up!)
At the start of the dungeon, just say “Hi, first time here! Let me know if I need to do anything other than just stab!”
95% of players will help you
If you get one of the 5%, ignore them.
If they try to kick you from the group, take it as an escape. do you really want to be running a dungeon with someone who’s like that?
Once you’ve done that a good few times, you’ll start to feel more conifdent in your class.
Remember, everyone had to start from scatch at one point.
Everyone had to learn their class (apaprt from DH’s who just push 2 buttons)
Best of luck to you finding your feet!
You should check if your Server got a guild for people like you I’ve seen that Doomhammer/Turalyon got one for Anxious and Stressed people but it’s a rather small guild and I don’t know how it looks inside.
10 chars
Easy to say, hard to do… I know its kind a surrender phrase but unfortunately is true. I’d love people that is not in my country treat in a more gently way and not in a bully way.
I was thinking about US, but I thought that US was chaotic I don’t know…
on my server there’s a guild specifically for people with similar issues, I’ve never been in it, but i think they raid up to HC and do M+.
Exactly. Exposure therapy is the most effetive
but why is this your default thinking? that everyone is just a mean badie thats out there to bully you?
i mean, i can assure you that most people are not. but if you dont “face your fears” aka accept guild invites and make an effort to be involved in communities you will never find out and never make progress.
if you want to play on an us based server you d need a separate subscription tho, just a heads up.
there are plenty of nice people out there you just have to give them a chance too.
I will be looking up this evening into your link and hope I find something interesting.
Guess what, I have a Certificate of Dyslexia and I don’t know why I speak good in English but not in Italian. Maybe because the grammar in Italian is pain.
Oh God, unless can you report if someone get toxic at you or even abuse you…
Because every friends that I have they was false. Stabbing you at the back and abuse you like a puppet and every single mistake you had, you receive an insult.
These people must not live… that’s why I got so frustrating about this bully argument.
I know that feeling, i can barely sit in a discord call listening to others talk let alone talk myself.
I solo queue in every game i play because of that, it just feels like the pressure is too high if i actually talk to someone.
Raiding is a bit difficult to ‘‘get into’’ without the social aspect, as is arena, but you can pug M+ to build that confidence a bit. I puged my way to keystone master, without voice, or friends, and it helped me really get a confidence boost to show myself i was capable fo doing something i set my mind to.
So i would encourage you to find learner communities, there are a few for every avenue of content, raids, arena, m+, whatever, and once you’ve built up a rating and you’ve pushed beyond your personal barriers i am almost 100% sure a huge amount of that anxiety will vanish.
well, those people werent friends then. such people exist and are best ignored. but doesnt help to paint everyone with the same brush long term.
Italian is a beautiful language but all thoose irregular verbs make me go crazy
Join the Scared of Dungeons community. No pressure to perform at world first race level, if we make mistakes we laugh and try again. Also theres a few forum regulars in that community, myself included. Great bunch of people
Is not irregular verbs… is because there is 21 verbs temps (like Simple Present, Past Simple, Present Perfect, etc…) and 7 modes (like Finite verb, Iniftive verb, Gerund verb, Participle verb, etc…) those are I’d like to say in Italian “Il modo in cui dire…” in English is “the way you say…”. Yeah, Italian grammar is pain, the language is beautiful, and the pronunciation is easy to learn.
In any area of the game, let everyone know you’re an unshackled gorilla ready to pounce any second. You hold nothing back. If someone insults you, insult them even harder. Doesn’t haft to be anything relevant. If they tell you how awful you handled a raid mechanic, you tell them: ”Well, atleast I’m not a fat, dorito eating midget with untightened braces like yourself.” This works very well, because what are they going to respond? They got nothing! And they will quickly forget what you did wrong. And the rest of the raid will now understand that there’s no point in insulting you because you’ll put them in their place real quick. Just get out of your comfort zone. It’s the internet. Nothing will happen. Unless the FBI are watching you. law and order theme starts playing
Just assert superiority, that’s all.
Greetings Mystyuc, trust me you’re not alone when it comes to severe social Anxiety.
I’m completely the same as you.
And im the same IRL, i hate talking in Phone, or even go out. I live on a Welfare due to the anxiety to meet new peoples.
Gaming-Wise
I’m a Lonewolf ingame for the exact same reason, I tend to decline guild-invites, so i made my own guild filled with alts of mine ONLY
I don’t really have fears of let’s say tank dungeons tho, like doing M+ 2 - 8.
Im not doing anything higher than that as it triggers the anxiety inside of me, by being afraid of being judged.
I’m super casual, so yes im a LFR Hero most of the time, but i do not dare step into a " Current " raid as tank even LFR, as DPS and Healer its fine.
There’s a Looking for ingame friends thread here on the forum.
And even if you comment stuff about yourself - btag and that you have social anxiety, peoples thinks you’re a " Friend Collector " just because you dont talk, and its annoying af.
Because let’s be real, WoW is a MMO a HUGE WORLD, its ment to play together.
But peoples like us struggle with that, we feel like we’re left outside, which sucks…
I don’t know if your Social Anxiety is as bad IRL, but if it is, do tell yourself to take like a walk for let’s say 15 - 25 mins a day, to just get outside, if you pass someone taking a walk you know that they are just there to do their stuff, and you’re doing your stuff, I know it’s hard, i haven’t had any irl friends for like 6 Years now, so i’ve been working on my own challenges for the same period of time, and i haven’t gotten over the Anxiety.
Back to In-game
Yes it does suck for peoples like you and i, we have a hard time finding new friends thanks to the anxiety, but what we should look for is someone thats completely Opposite!.
We as quiet & Shy human beings should look for peoples that talks ALOT
Best of luck, and know that you’re not alone out there!
I was like that up until Wrath. Then I joined a guild with some pretty decent folks in it and all was good. I had never set foot in a dungeon or raid up til then but I did more than reasonable in them. Learn to play your class to the best degree you can and don’t worry so much. There are alot more decent people play this game than you think