Deleting people from FL for asking a few questions?

Community General Discussion
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Hi, I was surprised the other day, because a “friend” who I’ve known since 2011 deleted me from bnet after I asked him a question: we’re both mount collectors and hence I didn’t think a question regarding honor level was a crime, but apparently; I actually asked the evening of last saturday, made sure he was always in quiet places, as in not in raids, bgs, dungeons or anything like I always do, and didn’t get an answer, so I tried the following evening and that’s when he deleted me.

I also happened to have him on discord, but wasn’t able to get an explanation anywhere at all, the only way was having another friend ask for me and he said he finds me annoying sometimes, and that it’s nothing personal but when he’s playing sometimes he doesn’t want to answer many questions and that he would write me the day after, which he ofc never did.

I checked and there were 4 questions on average a month, usually in a single session, with 1-1,5-2 months of distance between times in which I wrote him, between this particular attempt and previous one 1,5 months went by.

What surprises me is there was no warning at all about not wanting questions, and in my experience it can happen that people miss questions at times, and even last time we talked I didn’t notice anything special in his answers indicating not wanting to talk, and also to me someone who refuses to answer what a specific person asks, no matter what, IS taking it personally.

In this situation, as I see it, I was supposed to assume that if someone doesn’t answer at first attempt he’s ignoring me, but to be honest that’s the assumption I make when I write to people I never talked with before, not people I’ve known for 13 years.

I never had an issue like this before, do you think it’s normal nowadays to delete people for asking questions without ever saying “I’m busy” “Don’t want to talk atm” or things along the lines?

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Yes. People are socially inept, and it’s got worse and worse with the advancement of technology.

That being said, were you only ever talking to him when asking questions? I’ve had a few people who treat me like some search engine. I don’t mind answering questions, but if that’s the only real interactions we’re having then it can get annoying fast.

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I’ll tell you what, a person with that attitude for sure is not someone who will be missed let alone, doesn’t need to be even talked about after.

In my case, my friend for 30 years has decided to befriend me, while there was nothing at all. Suddenly, out of nowhere… He accused me with a lot of things he misread or I didn’t even do but it was also like he hold those thoughts about me for 30 years and one-day decided to spill them all. I was confused, said and was feeling betrayed… I only said ok, I have never felt like I need to explain myself. His father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, mother was terminally cancer… Clearly he was pissed, angry against the life, and he decided to attack someone to take all the rage out of him. Well, probably I was the target dummy.

Maybe he did what he did by trusting our long-lasting friendship and though that I would understand and come back one day, but I didn’t do it and won’t ever do it.

People are changing, every hour, every year, every corner of their lives. Sometimes even people we loved so much is not going to be part of our futures. My experience was IRL, what I understand from your message that person was a long-lasting friend of yours but he/she is from the game, right? Not that its important…

Just let it go, move on. Clearly your friendship is over, let it be mutual.

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^This.

Anyone deleting you over something as trivial as asking a few game related questions each month isn’t worth thinking about let alone making a thread about.

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Wonder why you add random people to a friend list and then expect something from them.

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What does your friend get out of the friendship ? Ability to answer the question for you ? Most do not mind if they are not a busy one , especially if the question they know the answer and they like the question . But some do mind this and best to say BooHoo goodBye to You.

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You clearly weren’t friends, because otherwise you would know about the things they find annoying.

Just forget about it and move on, it’s not that deep.

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Sometimes you’re in the middle of something and you’re concentrating on your own thing. The last thing you need is someone coming along and asking questions completely off topic to what you are thinking about. And yes it does get a little annoying from time to time.

The truth is, you never know what’s going on in someone elses mind. Whilst you might have thought you were asking questions about a topic you have a similar interest in. That person probably hasn’t thought about farming Honor levels in a long time. So to be hit with a question like that out of the blue would have just been a bit distracting when trying to focus on something else.

Also, how well did you read the room? How much did that person talk to you over the years? As in, start the conversation. How often did they ask you questions? Maybe the “we’re friends because we collect mounts”, was a one way thing.

It was probably alot easier to just remove themself, than have to explain why they were going.

Not trying to put you down in anyway. Deleting you randomly is a bit extreme. But I’m just trying to point out that maybe someone didn’t value you as a friend as much as you thought you did.

I had a FL clear out last year along with a server transfer, it was a really refreshing thing to do. I would get alot of questions, mostly about crafts and stuff. There were people who would /w me about all sorts of things I didn’t care about, and sometimes being polite is just tiring.

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Why do you share your friendship drama with the entire wow GD forum? If I were your (ex)friend and saw this I’d probably be even more annoyed.

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As someone that has recently lost a longterm ingame friend without much explanation either the best advice I can give is to just move on. Yes it may hurt a bit in the beginning but there is no point being stuck in a loop and wondering what you did wrong.

Feel free to add me though if you want another collector to chat to about things/ask questions :slight_smile: Exodeo#2151

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^^ This is sensible advice.

Sometimes people don’t want to be friends, for whatever reasons. It’s best to just accept it and move on. It’s not worth dwelling on.

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Maybe he/she felt bad about it and had no one to share and decided to talk about it here. (Just thinking out loud)

Why are you being harsh? There is no point in saying what you said. If you think that it is that silly to share such a thing over here, you can move on to another topic but exactly no point in sharing your exact comment.

I’ve seen s.htloads of guild drama threads over here for years. I don’t they are that different. Be kind… It is a useful human skill.

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I would be relieved that I hit that unfriend button :rofl:

Needy much.

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Seeking council from GD forums is not sensible at all. Why would anyone here know why someone deletes a friend, there’s infinite reasons from the mundane to the insane, and we’ll never know unless the friend comes here to explain their side.

A common sense reality check isn’t harsh.

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I’ll delete someone if they log in and out too many times in a short period.
I wouldn’t think too deep about being removed.

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are we all doing the most sensible things in our life, all the time? we all do silly things from time to time, no one is perfect in any way. to be fair, I wouldn’t want his friend to pop up, and then things turn into a drama ofc kekw. but still, no need to be that harsh on people…

you are a bit biased.

common sense is a general perception on basic matters. a fancy word, usually interpreted wrongly tho. common sense is not the absolute rule of our society.

anyway, I don’t think we will have an agreement on the matter. I do agree the disagree here and move on.

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Sounds like it was a one-sided “friendship”, and he weighted the friendship lower than the “bother” of answering the messages he received.

It unfortunately happens, and it would surprise you how many people out there, lack the social skills when it comes to communicating online. Like for example just deleting/unfriending you without a word, after 13 years…

I have personally done the same to multiple people also, and just cut all contact to them without a word, because of something IRL happening to me at the time. So sometimes it has nothing to do with you, but maybe circumstances just changed for him. :slightly_smiling_face:

Another reason could also be that your side of the story, doesn’t match up with his version of the story. :man_shrugging: There is also a scenario, where you might not have realised that you pestered him constantly, got deleted, and now share a biased version of what happened. :joy:

In any case…

Don’t take online friendships personal, since most tend to fade over time. Move on, and make some new friends.

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The moral of the story is don’t use people as your personal search engine. Most questions can easily be answered in a few seconds with one google search and I doubt yours were all so deep that you needed to ask your “friend” every time instead.

I personally find it extremely annoying when someone repeatedly bothers me with questions they can find answers to themselves in a few seconds without every asking another human.

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Hi Larry

Dum-dum-dum…

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True, everything is just a “google away”, but then again, what can we talk about at all?

I must admit Im also annoyed when someone asks so simple questions in /trade or /guild and answer can be just few seconds away by opening Wowhead. At the same time, I know that “read it up” culture tears apart any attempt at social interaction.
Personally, I dont need friends or guild in game anymore and that pushed my away from ingame interaction. Same goes at home, family members spend more time on their phones than in some conversation, we dont learn from eachother anymore and I miss that.
Ignorance is a blessing is well worth saying, information age might not be the progress of human kind.