Title: The Trade-Princess and the Pea
Author: Goblin Fairytales
(OOC a personal word-to-word re-write of princess and the pea, Hans Andersen version, to add flavour to some story-telling scenarios!)
Race/Culture: Goblin
Once upon a time there was a trade prince, and he wanted to marry a trade princess, only she had to be a real trade princess, not the phoney self-proclaimed ones that took advantage of Kezan’s crazy population and limitless inhabitants. So, he travelled all over the West side of Kezan looking for one. But every time there was something the matter: trade princesses there were plenty, but whether they were real trade princesses or not, he could never really make out, there was always something not quite real about them. So, he came home again and was so very sad, because he did so want a real trade princess.
Now, one night there was a terrible storm. It thundered and lightened, and the rain poured down – it was frightful! All at once there was a knock at the palace gate, and the trade prince’s old father went out to open it.
There, standing outside, was a girl. But dear me, what a sight she looked, in the wind and the rain. The water was running down her hair and her clothes, and it was running in at the toes of her shoes and out again at the heels. And then she said she was a real trade princess.
“We’ll see about that!” thought the trade prince’s old mother. But she didn’t say anything; she went into the bedroom, took off all the bed-clothes, and put a copper coin in the bottom of the bed. Then she took twenty mattresses and put them on top of the coin, and then again twenty goose-beds on top of the mattresses.
That was to be the trade princess’s bed for the night.
In the morning they asked her how she had slept.
“Dreadfully!” said the trade princess. “I hardly got a wink of sleep all night. Goodness knows what can have been in the bed! There was something poor in it, and now I’m just black and blue all over. It’s really dreadful!”
So now they were able to see that she was a real trade princess, because she had felt the copper coin right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty goose-beds. Only a real trade princess could be so tender as that.
So, the trade prince took her for his wife, now he knew he had a real trade princess. And the copper coin was placed in the Kezan museum, where it may still be seen – if nobody has stolen it!