The forces that make up existence are tearing it apart in a war that will only end when one has consumed all.
I ask you, heroes, the way you’re going, how long before you’re forced to sic your blades on your brethren, on your family?
Do you not see? I’m simply doing what must be done. I am giving you a way out of all the hardship and suffering.
But if you still wish to fight inevitability, then I will gladly honor your request!
Now, face eternity’s end.
I’m not sure how this fixes much of anything? It doesn’t really tie much into his characterisation, what little we had of it and kinda contradicts his “You’re probably wondering how i got here” segment after the fight, witht he broader questionmark of what drives him never ever being answered.
Number one : the jailer believes that the design of the the first ones is wrong.
Number two : I am hinting that he is aware of the war between the forces ( Void , light , death, nature, chaos aka fel , arcane and the elements ) of the warcraft universe, and that it only ends with one of them consuming all. In my story, his trying to change things in order to prevent the destruction that will come with said war escalating. That is his motivation in my story.
The end segment is something to the effect of “A cosmos divided can’t stand against…” just before he dies. He cares about dominion, not really about the cosmic forces fighting, as he is the perpetrator behind some of the conflict himself through Denathrius and the Nathrezim.
The overall story would have to be substantially altered and restructured to be anything resembling good. When you say “Fixing the speech” it of course invites the assumption that you’re working in context of the same story.
He doesn’t say what that foe is or why the cosmos divided can’t stand against it.
No , it doesn’t . That whole thing is literally revealed at the end without any connection to anything before that, and it’s extremely vague to the point that you can slot anything in. Also, bad guys like that usually use tactics like that. Sargeras uses void magic, but he is fighting the void, for example.
Oh, and fixing stuff also often means changing things.
Just say you don’t like what I am putting down because it doesn’t fit your head cannon, and move on.
Also, I prefer a never-ending conflict that can only be resolved by people coming to terms with each other than an unknown greater evil.
His ending line obviously implies a threat of external nature and if you’re gonna change things obviously say what you’re changing, for context’s sake.
I’m trying to give you actual constructive and actionable feedback.
Why do people like you always say, “You have to add the thing that is obvious”? By simply saying I am fixing it, it’s obvious to anyone that there are going to be changes. I don’t have to write a 4-page, detailed explanation for people like you.
Also, it ends with “AGAINST” not “the evil thing that is coming.” He doesn’t say what it is or even that it is a thing.
Anything can be slotted after words, including what I just wrote. A cosmos divided can’t stand against… Its own destruction; my dancing skills; the Queen album collection; the new Blizzard game. You see how easy it is to add anything to it?
The only thing we know for certain about him is that he hates the first ones’ design and that he wants to change it, and nothing more.
Also, what criticism? The only thing that I am getting from your replies is that you feel like my fanfiction is somehow attacking your head cannon.
i always got the impression that the cosmos was already divided before he began his gambit since its a eternal conflict by design
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