((before I start, this is a joke post. Please to not take any of this crap seriously))
Ladies and gentlemen of the Alliance, I present to you today one simple truth:
Our King has no balls.
What has Anduin done for us? He was insignificant at best during the Legion’s Third invasion, and the fourth war exposed him as the grieving child playing soldier he is. We have fought for him against unimaginable horrors, and yet our Alliance seems more fragile than ever.
It is time for a change in management if we are to regain our former glory. Henceforth, I am announcing my intentions to succeed the House of Wrynn for the greater good of our peoples. I shall stabilise our economy (seriously, we’re using GOLD to buy basic food- this hyperinflation must end) and renegotiate a more desirable peace treaty with the Horde. Their warchief started the war, they must accept responsibility.
I will provide housing for all refugees from alliance territory, be they Gnome, Gilnean or Darnassian. I will pledge forty thousand gold (values taken from post-coup economy) to the construction of a new Dwarven district inside the mountains west of The Mage Quarter. The existing Dwarven district will be repurposed as an elven district.
I will improve transportation links between our scattered holdings, in particular by renovating the antiquated Deeprun tram. By 75 ADP this will be extended to connect all major Alliance cities within the Eastern Kingdoms, as well as Boralus as a symbol of our new partnership.
Regarding foreign policy, the soon to be ex-Prince Anduin shall become my new envoy to the Horde (should he survive the glorious revolution). This may shock you, but it is in my infinite wisdom I see that he has the soul of a diplomat and, as the honourable King Greymane has shown, easily manipulated into a puppet. We shall offer the Horde a simple choice: relinquish Lordaeron and Quel’thalas to us, or be destroyed. Theramore shall be reconstructed and become a neutral site for negociations. I plan to implement these changes as soon as the Horde figures out who the {REDACTED} their warchief is now*.
Of course, to usher in a new and better regime we must tear down the old one. Anyone who joins me in my revolution shall be dubbed a hero of the Alliance and installed as governor of an Alliance territory, determined as I see fit**. We have toppled tyrants across Azeroth and beyond- let us put our house in order.
So join me patrons of the Alliance, as we tear down the walls of our current system and replace it with an iden-… I mean better, fairer one!
*This current vacuum is due to the inherent incompetence of the Horde and totally not due to the complicated and quite possibly disastrous process of replacing a decades-old Government containing many myriad groups and intents.
**You will also get a pony***.
***For the purposes of the above promise, "Pony" can mean anything from an entire, living animal of the equestrian variety to a hamburger of questionable origin. I, Borbarsa-Lightbringer, Conqueror of Orgrimmar, do not accept any liability for dissatisfaction with / food poisoning originating from / untimely death caused by attempting to acquire said pony.
((And that’s it. Congratulations if you read that all in one sitting! As stated at the start of the post, do not take any of the above opinions seriously. This is a joke post.))
Now we just have to convince the new King how honorable the Horde is.