Me neither. Over the years I have had all sorts of dramatic raid and guild leaders and I also have learned that sometimes it is better just let it go.
you sound like a complete liar and I bet theres a tonne more to this than youre admitting.
You are completely in the wrong and that guild is way better off without you. A 2 day flu and yet you could log on your computer. Doesn’t sound sick to me, at all. When im sick, I don’t get out of bed or am I able to log on to a computer game. You clearly weren’t sick.
Take the ‘eter’ out of your new guild name and that is 100% exactly what you are. Theyre better off without you.
by all the gods, you sound like a complete and utter &%^%^&^%& of nonsense. What an aeternus minus the eter you are
Actually you do get it. You just listed why. These reasons.
No, there isn’t, sometimes one person is the aggressor and the other is the victim. I’m not saying that this is what happened here, but saying there are ALWAYS two sides is wrong.
True, but why not presume innocence until guilt is known? It’s not like OP was naming and shaming, so why not presume they’re telling the truth?
I don’t think you pushed it far enough to be quite honest, you should have asked for 50% of all the gold in the guild bank and the next 5 raid drops, regardless of stats.
When the guild leader says no, your response back to him should be, “you will regret this day that you crossed me” then you should laugh “muhahaha” then quit the guild.
It’s the other way around man. The guy is making accusations, so let’s assume the guild is innocent until proven guilty.
Actually, on second thought, I dont care about any of this.
Because human beings - i always presume worst, and then occasionally and very rarely am surprised, when they are not as bad.
Im sure my guildies would love to know the specifics of my illness when, to be quite honest, its none of their business. If i say I’m ill they should take that as ‘i am ill’.
If they want to seriously have the whole ‘you need a valid reason and docs note to be excused’ stance then they’ll need to pay me for my time. They want to treat me like an employee they damn well are paying me too (this is sarcasm btw)
this sounds a lot cooler than what I did. I said “Thank you very much for having me and good luck with your progress” and left. But I seriously love the idea of overdramatising it just for fun. If I’m already leaving, why not with style?
Yes I agree with this 1000%. Onwards and upwards for you, OP.
I think for the most part people aren’t going to assume you are looking for a pity party unless you really ham it on. If you say “I’ve been in agony for 8 hours! I can barely move and desperately need to sleep but just can’t” that will definitely read like you are hoping for someone to coddle you. Avoid emotive language (“agony”, “desperately”, exclamation marks etc) and hyperbole, but a short statement of a symptom “I have a fever/stomach upset/migraine” or give a time frame like “I’ve not been feeling well for a few hours/since last night”. That said, you don’t need to give this information if you don’t feel comfortable - the people posting that you don’t need to “prove” you are ill are absolutely correct. However, it isn’t so much the content of what you say, but how it comes across. You don’t really need to add very much. Opening with a “Sorry guys” or closing with a “Will let you know asap” shows that you appreciate that this is something that is going to inconvenience them and want to minimise that. Putting in something conversational and friendly can go a long way to bringing people on side, like adding “have a great raid tonight” if the raid is going ahead without you. Just little things that shows that you know you are talking to actual people, potential friends, and not giving out terse statements to an Alexa equivalent, can make the difference between someone feeling snubbed and being less likely to believe you, and someone feeling valued and taking what you say at face value.
(Also for some reason I can’t post on main-Idrais now, but am stuck on alt-Idrais. Weird.)
I can confirm this, not being native English. The finer nuances of English are over my head and it’s very hard to figure out what exact words to use. In Sweden “not feeling well” mostly in a polite way translates to psychic unhealth, ranging from mild depression to psychosis. In this case I’ve been around English enough to understand it has a different meaning.
The other side of the story can be exactly the same. But everyone also has the right to defend himself. I am not executing someone from just 1 side of the story.
Well it is hard to know both version since you won’t probably hear the other side one.
I usually presume 99/100 times both sides are wrong in some ways and both sides belive they are 100 correct.
Like this time, I am not saying op is a liar I am just saying I do not agree completely to his actions, sometimes instead of asking for a public apology and probably say things that may create more flame i would try to reach the source of the problem (the rl) ask him to talk with me in discord and explain to him my true intention and even apologize if what I wrote seemed vague wich was not my intention.
Maybe that way the rl would have realized that they were arguing on a simple misunderstanding and would forget about the incident and even apologize.
Ofc it might happen they are true aholes and won’t calm down even on discord. At that point I would probably leave mid discussion both guild and discord and log out.
Many posters have said here that you don’t owe any detailed explanations of your illness to your guild and they are absolutely right on that. Good relationships, however, are not built on giving absolute minimum of what you have to. It is your personal choice always what and how you share. If you are on trial and want to build good relationship with the guild and there is possibility that you message about “not feeling well” is not understood right then it is good idea to be more clear. Not because you have to but because you want them to know you are not bailing them on purpose or being lazy or such. It is completely situational based on your relationship with the guild and what feels comfortable to you but it is definately something to think about instead of going to absolute minimum that you “have to”.
thanks man, you just saved my week. I feel 1000% better now thanks to you
So being neutral and descriptive about my sickness to give them an idea of what I’m dealing with - sounds easy enough. I’m not exactly someone thats good with being empathetic by telling them what they need to hear to feel like I care, but I will try to find a work-around. Will probably just simply copypasta your exact words from here if something like that happens again tbh.
Leave mid discussion, both guild and discord, log out, delete the game, burn the house, hop into the car, drive into another country and live as a goat instead - solid plan here
I can understand what you mean, and I agree with the first part, but why is me lying to them even an option? Its a game, there is no contract, no one knows eachother - if I dont want to raid, I could simply tell them.
We were all in that guild because we take raiding serious enough to call ourselves hardcore-progress guild - we enjoy doing it. I joined that guild with the common goal to clear the mythic content as fast as possible. Why is it suddenly a option that not only I changed my mind about it, but also start lying about my absence instead of just telling them that I dont want to anymore? Thats what I dont get - where does the idea of me deceiving them even come from?
Chalk it up to bad timing and hope you are able to fulfil your next trial period with a new guild.
Yeah, because your tactic of asking a public apology worked out really well instead lmao.
In those lines I was simply trying to say that if i see they don’t care about solving the problem(even after I try to talk and explain myself better on discord) but just flaming me, I would probably let it go without many drama and without wasting a single second more with them.
I think them going straight to thinking that you were lying is more an indication of what they have experienced and their thinking process than anything you said. Most likely, they have had trouble with people doing this in the past and now see it as a possibility whenever someone they don’t know very well says they are ill. Either that or it is something they did themselves in the past. So I definitely wouldn’t internalise that as you-problem. I think it is a simple mixture of not knowing you very well, reading too much into what you said (or didn’t say) and being hyper-vigilant due to people they have dealt with before.
I think people are always going to have baggage that will mean they see meaning or nuance where there is none, especially over text where so much subtlety is lost. My way of dealing with that when I haven’t really had the opportunity to build relationships is to say things which (hopefully) leave people with as little room to make their own inferences as possible (obviously doesn’t always work, people will see what they want to see). So putting in a little bit here or there to show people that you are committed, or you realise you have inconvenienced them, or you are just generally happy to be a member of their team, leaves them with less room to overanalyse and jump to the conclusion that you are difficult/lying/negative/whatever thing they are predisposed to think.
I totally get that when you are sick and suffering, expending energy on managing people’s expectations and reinforcing that you are 100% a team player is the last thing you want to be doing, but it does pay off a lot of the time.