Left guild after being denounced and mocked for being sick on progress

Community General Discussion
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Hey guys, I just want to randomly rant about my guild ditching me for being sick.

I’ve joined the guild with the start of mythic week in 8.3 as a trial tank. We killed 5 bosses since then, I have enjoyed clearing some M+ with various guild-members and had a lot of fun while raiding with them. I was sure that this guild will be one I can stick for a long, long time.

Last saturday I got sick pretty suddenly that held for 2 days at most - but it was intense. According to the guess of my doctor “a flu brushed off of me” - apparently it happens. While being sick I missed two raid-days.

My leave for raid was described as “Not feeling well, probably not going to raid today, will update later”. I did update and did the same on the following day by first warning them that I might miss the raid, then update it with a concrete statement that I will not be able to raid. This was on a public channel in our guild-discord specifically made for “being late” etc.

Pretty quickly after that I have been accused of lying about my sickness on multiple levels by the leading team. Starting from being hungover over straight-up telling me that it “doesnt sound serious” etc. etc.

Today, after being at the doctor and feeling much better, I told them that it was very rude of them to publicly denounce me and I expect a proper apology in the same public channels. A “I’m sorry” per DM was not enough, since the leaders mockery about my sickness even incited other members to join him on his quest.

I told them I can not tolerate such a behaviour and will not raid with them unless they take responsibility for their actions about treating my sickness like a choice to skip raids. Lead told me that he will not do such a thing and I responded with saying thanks and goodbye to the guild.

Uploaded the (imo) critical moments written on discord here: (cant insert links - sorry)

Was I expecting too much by insisting on a public apology instead of a dm? It felt it had to be done since the accusations and mockery happened on a public channel as well. Did I push too far?

Post-Draft note: After thinking a bit, I figure that replacing me was easier for them than making a public statement and admitting guilt. This would explain why they would go from “you coming to raid tomorrow?” to “we dont need you” in 10 minutes.

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I am not sure what you are looking for posting your drama story on the forums. Everyone that’s been in any active guild long enough has some kind of drama story. Heck, everyone that’s been having any social interaction has had at least one drama story. I don’t think you will find many people eager to vicariously live through your personal drama.

I mean… you wouldn’t come to the forums to rant about that time you got into a argument with a kid at school…

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Insisting on an apology is rarely helpful. Even if you get one by demanding it, it will not be sincere, so it’s really just about your ego. It will not improve anyone’s opinion of you, and likely make it worse (makes you appear as a troublemaker and disruptive person within the community). The person forced to apologize, which they perceive as humiliation, will also grow more resentful toward you and it will surface later on.

That said, I’d not stay in a guild or raid group where I can’t be sick or not be in the mood without being threatened to get thrown out. You get better conditions in pretty much any work place where you actually get payed.

Good opportunity to take WoW less seriously.

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  • confirmation about me making the right decision to feel better about it
  • and a bit consolation, if I’m honest here

The guild is one of the very few capable guilds on my realm and it will be very difficult to find a similar one even on other realms at this point. I’m just trying to rant and get some cool feedback to feel better about my decision to leave the guild

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Theres always 2 sides to every story. First rule of here.

Secondly, you sound like a bit of a drama llama expecting public apologies and such. It’s hard to tell from here but they might have been poking a bit of fun at you and you responded like a stuck up eejit.

I lead a guild for 7 years, I can tell you they may have been thinking replacing you is easier in the long run than putting up with you.

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Well, it sounds like that guild is a bit like a fart. Better out than in.

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title of the thread says you got kicked, but apparently you left? lol

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In a word: yes. How often do you see people publically apologize unless there’s a metaphorical gun to their head? It’s not a realistic expectation.

This is a very good assessment.

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youre right, thats me being unintentionally biased there. thank you. yes, I left - I think I wrote “I got kicked” because it felt like they didnt give me any other choice. Will fix my wording

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In the real world it is. But here online where it’s festering with stubborn little argumentative scrotes? Yeah spot on sadly :joy:

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I am highly interested in how you think I couldve solved the problem without being a drama llama? (not taking it personally btw, genuinely want to know how I couldve solved this better)

Since they denounced me publicly, I assumed that a public apology was in order - was that a wrong way of approaching this?

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Well I feel like you werent that long with that guild?
either way, I think you and your guild had different values so you both went on your path.

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Like I said theres two sides to every story. You took seriously what they may have said in jest, we just don’t know. But like others said, asking for a public apology rarely ends well, especially when neither party has built up much credibility with the other.

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This place smells snowflake.

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Well, Dejarous’ answer is somewhat harsh, but I think she has a point. Forcing a public apology is not a solution, it probably makes things worse demanding it and if it’s made it’s not sincere. And there is always two sides. Later when you are settled, think it over again and put youself in their shoes. Similar situations will come many times in life and it’s good to have thought it through when it’s only about leaving a guild.

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Alright, I see a pattern here. Multiple people agree with eachother that my approach was indeed flawed.

How could I have dealt with the situation instead? I felt like publicly denouncing my sickness would be a line that shouldnt have be crossed - still not sure if you guys agree on this one (even though, yes, its just one side of the story).

How could I have handled this better? Asking for an apology on the same public channel is apparently a no-go. Just bend over and take it like a champ since life isnt fair etc.? What could have been the correct course of action?

Edit2: will try to grab the attention of some people with a new reply instead

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Here bud, take my apologies Instead,much better?good.

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Please dont misgender

I’d keep it in jokingly offensive manner, calling them light “offensive” names and telling them to foff, that I dont need their approval to skip a raid either way.

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Muh sickness :sob: they said I have nothing serious :sob: I’m leaving the guild :sob:

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Can’t say I have a solution for you as I haven’t been a raid tank or in a guild where illness is a no-no. However

I agree with you on that.