The Stormwind Times - Issue 1

Stormwind Times

Your local weekly newspaper, bringing you the latest and greatest from our nation’s capital.

Scandal in the Cathedral

It was confirmed late last night that a warrant for the arrest of Terrasha Dawnborn was given by acting High Magistrate Ariah Rolandson. Knights of the Council of Bishops were seen in the Cathedral guarding Ms. Dawnborn, however Guards are expected to move in and make the arrest sometime this week. What the charges are, remains to be seen, however sources close to the ‘Times’ say that it is related to money embezzlement within the Cathedral. Ms. Dawnborn, who has administered the Cathedral for a number of years, was not available for comment.

This came as reports surfaced from the Council of Bishops stating that Ms Dawnborn was unfit for service. A council representative marched to the Guard headquarters and demanded the arrest of Ms Dawnborn. Apparently, a heated argument was heard between the council member and the Commander of the Guards. It is unclear at this stage what the argument was about but what is certain is that turmoil is coming to Stormwinds beacon of Light!

How to A-void the void?

Difficult times are ahead, and with the war turning from Horde to Old Gods, we all seek help to stop that annoying whisper at the back of our minds! Resident ‘Stormwind Times’ Doctor S.McPhrizzle tells us what you can do to help quiet the whispers. He says that many will be tempted to listen to whispers and do as they say, but the best thing to do is tell them to ‘Shut Up’ and ‘leave you alone’. A tonic of Bruiseweed and Earthroot, crushed up into water (or whisky) can also help numb the mind to any noises you may hear. If the whispers persist, you should try sleeping for a day and a half, and then take a cold wash when you wake. Dr. McPhrizzle says “They don’t like the cold, y’know!” “Sleeping will make them dormant, then you purge them with the cold!” For a full account of Dr. McPhrizzle’s guide, write to us at the ‘Times’, sending your name and address along with two silver, and a full pamphlet will be sent to you.

Latest Tidbits

A shooting took place last week in the Old Town, with no fatalities. Guards are on the lookout for a culprit. Any suspicious activity in the area is to be reported to your local Guard.

A recent sparring tournament was held in Hearthglen, up north, a few weeks ago. The Grand Fighting Tournament had entrants from both Horde and Alliance members competing. At least two representatives of Stormwind were competing, with the Champion of Stormwind himself, taking part. The overall winner was a Snake called “Mishrak the Greedy”. When asked for a comment on his recent victory, Mishrak said “Hss…” The tournament was brought to you by the Argent Crusade, the Stormguard Accord and the Blood Bound.

Last weeks ‘Miss Stormwind’ competition caused some controversy as the wrong name was read out by the commentator. The embarrassed commentator was announcing the winner between the two finalists and read out the wrong name. After apologising, and stating the correct winner, a fight broke out between the two finalists and guards had to be called. When things settled down, it was decided that neither woman deserved to win, after the fight had left both with injuries that effected their appearances!

A Stormwind City Guard poster sits here, asking for new recruits. Recruitment is 8 bells in the evening, on a Sunday, at Stormwinds City Halls. (||)

The Stormwind Times is edited and published in Stormwind City, Dwarven District, by Sprizzle McPhrizzle, GJS.

((If you want to get involved helping publish the Stormwind times, contact Sprizzle in game, or via mail!))
((IC and OOC comments always welcome!!))


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