The Stormwind Times - Issue 19

Stormwind Times

Your local weekly newspaper, bringing you the latest and greatest from our nation’s capital.

Galorphar away!

The threat of Galorphar never seems far away. Citizens of Stormwind will know the name by now, and it is troubling times ahead. A group of daring individuals set out on Sunday 30th, to intercept the demon somewhere on Kalimdor. They returned, via portal, in a terrible state, having not only been defeated by the demon and his armies, but claiming that he has found the Black Claw, a powerful artefact granting him even more power. A military council meeting was hastily organised with leaders from all across the kingdoms in attendance, reported overleaf.

Intelligence stated that armies were gathering in four locations in the Eastern Kingdoms and that the military will need to strike these locations before they strike us. A task force was set up and struck as early as last Friday. The group had moved to location in the Burning Steppes where they encountered a Fel Reaver. It looked to still be in construction, but when the team got there, it sprung to life. The construct seemed to be making its way to Lakeshire and possibly on to Stormwind thereafter. Thankfully, the heroes managed to bring it down before it could cause any further damage.

The army and its leaders seem to be working hard to discover the whereabouts of the Demon Lord. Citizens in Stormwind City do fear for their lives, after the chaos the previous siege caused. The ‘Stormwind Times’ believes that Galorphars aim is to claim power in the city and hold dominion over all its people, and that starts with the destruction of Stormwinds power. Having not spoken with the demon himself, however, they cannot confirm this. If Galorphar is reading, Dr. S. McPhrizzle would love an interview with you!

Have Demons, Will Travel

The 2nd of the ninth month saw a prodigious collection of figures from through the Alliance gathered in the Keep for none other than a full-blown war council, not seen since the beginning of the most recent Alliance-Horde conflict. Notably in attendance were the figures of Grand Marshal Tyram Deolaras, Knight-Commander Strorm Trueguard, Stormwind City Guard Commander Nakama Atlan, and Knight-Captain Terrasha Dawnborn, Administrator to the Cathedral of the Light. Allies from Arathi, Gnomeregan, and the Wildhammer clans travelled tirelessly to reach the Keep for the war tribunal, Grand Marshal and Ambassador of Stromgarde Lord Vardic Thoras Darevian, Traci Sparkenvile, and Bridgit Assbreaker and husbands respectively.

The threat put on the table to those gathered was the concern of the strengthened forces of one human turned demon lord, Galorphar. According to reports presented by the Ambassador of Stromgarde, Arathi has already been made a target with demon raiding parties attacking outlining villages and razing them to the ground. It seems the demon lord is specifically targeting key supply lines for Arathi’s troops. Rumours of additional threats from the sea were quelled with confidence that the best Kul Tiran Tidemages could work in tandem with the so called “spark squad” led by Miss Sparkenvile to scout and contain the danger to the islands off of Stormwind’s coastline. More concerning were rumours of Galorphar finding his eye turned to the Sunwell, fears voiced that while currently our tentative allies, the Horde has seen the font of power fallen once and should not be left alone in this momentous task of once again preserving it. A final threat found itself hitting closer to home as the sightings of demon hordes hard at work in the looming shadow of Blackrock Mountain was raised. It is this reporter’s understanding that a party would be sent to the Steppes immediately to see to the validity of this threat.

As a silent confidence fell over the room, distress calls rang out from Westbrook Garrison, seeking aid against a portal that had been forcibly opened on the bridge leading into the already desolated Westfall. Sightings of inquisitors atop the southern-most tower became the peak concern as doomguards and felguards sought to hold our small defensive force off. The target appeared to be a large fel crystal seen hovering in the skyline above the Garrison. Concerns for reinforcements were not needed as the troops dispatched made quick work of the amassing demon horde. Tales reached this reporter’s ears of a large Fel-infused beam doing the brunt of the work, seemingly from the same crystal the enemy forces were seeking to procure. It appeared their own weapon was turned against them after having been consumed by a one Kerainos Sheraka, a distigushed member of the Illidari. Whatever the reason, clean-up quickly ensued as no further threats on the city were reported.
Written by our newest reporter on the streets, Miss Erin Runeseeker.

The Ball Falls Short

Issue 18 of the Stormwind Times reported that El Said Karim Makram Nabil el Jasif was holding the most extravagant of VIP balls last Saturday. And it is safe to say that the extravagance was far more than expected. Fireworks, fire eaters, fired rifles. All took place at the Lords estate out in Elwynn Forest. No expense was spared as the estate was decorated entirely with garlands of silver and gold. Wherever you went, music was heard with the romantic love songs of Stormwind to the upbeat snares of Tanarisian drums. Jugglers, acrobats and fire eaters were there to entertain all. The food on display would make the royal buffet look like a meal at the Pig and Whistle, with delicacies from Pandaria, Kul Tiras and even the odd Northrendian dish. The finest gentry Stormwind had to offer all turned out in the finest fashion. The latest trends, straight out of Stephanos were on display as the ball gowns of the ladies matched the tailcoats of the lords.

The real entertainment started over an hour into the party, as rifle shots were fired within the estate. And these were not part of the organised fun. El Said has many enemies, and, as reported in our last issue, his flurry into the slave market has not left him popular. The first shot fired missed the Lord but did kill a waiter nearby. Commander Atlan was on the scene fast and was seen ushering the Lord inside, before another shot took the Commander out. The nobility were all in a panic with top hats and umbrellas all over the place. A scuffle started in the kitchen, as it turns out another would be assassin was already in the manor house. Another guard, Kamrynn Tailor, took a lethal knife wound to the neck, before the assassin was apprehended. Further rifle shots were heard, but this time it was guards firing upon the assassins. The shooter was taken out by Guardsman Thomas Tillmann.

The casualties were minimal, with only two fatalities. The waiter and shooter both being taken out. Commander Atlan and Corporal Tailor are both said to be recovering well. An inquest will be taking place in the coming weeks as guard officials question the security of whole event. More reports will follow and the ‘Times’ will keep you updated.

‘On Guard’ – our weekly city guard update

Lord Commander Nakama Atlan has announced his retirement as Commander of the Stormwind City Guard, after four years in charge. News fell to us at the ‘Times’ last week as the Commander told the squad his plans. Commander Atlan has had an illustrious Guard career which includes the constant threat of the Demon Lord, Galorphar. Atlan has also had to deal with threats from the Old God which included the high treason of Terrasha Dawnborn. He has led daring quests abroad, one such leading to the rescue of retired Marksman Captain Aealind Stillwater. Current Captain, and long-term friend of Nakama, Leofric Curtes will take over the reins. The ceremony will likely take place on the 18th September. The ‘Stormwind Times’ would love to hear your thoughts on Commander Atlan, or the new Commander, Leofric Curtes. Send it to us in the mail!

‘Light Bites’ – from the Cathedral!

The staff at the Cathedral of Light would like to offer its wholehearted thanks to volunteers after a recent mission went south, leaving many seriously wounded. The quest to apprehend Galorphar in Kalimdor saw the heroes’ portalled back and an immediate cry for help was called. Cathedral workers, along with volunteer medics quickly saw to the injured and thankfully no fatalities occurred. Father Sarius Santana offered his humblest of thanks to all that helped stating that the community spirit in the Cathedral was the reason that they can rely on so many excellent volunteers.

This month’s general teaching is all about the first virtue of the Holy Light – Respect.
“While the Holy Light teaches that awareness of the self and the universe is a goal, one must also see the connection between others and the universe. Destroying others’ happiness and severing others’ connections with the universe is not serving the world’s well-being, and therefore not your own. The practitioners of the Holy Light are not naïve however, and understand that trial, conflict, war and suffering do happen; but they strive to make the universe a better place in spite of these hindrances.”

Latest Titbits

Late evening walkers were treated to a bizarre sight last Friday night as it appeared a dragon flew over the city, chased by what can only be described as a flying ship. Many thought they were dreaming, but reports the next day confirmed that it was in fact a member of the infinite dragon flight, being chased by an alliance airship. Confirmation of what it was didn’t help explain its presence and many remain baffled as to what on Azeroth was going on? Many citizens wonder if it was some gnomish invention being used in some theatrical production, but officials remain baffled.

Another bizarre magical event occurred on Monday last week as Cathedral goers were shocked to be attacked by a barrage of weapons, mechanical parts and debris. However, no one was wielding the weapons as it all seemed to fall out of a portal created just above the Cathedral Square. It seems that the previous evening’s quest had seen the heroes quickly evacuated to safety and thus many belongings had been left behind. The falling items included the large remains of a mechanical construct from Riddlespark Industries. Thankfully, no one was hurt during the escapade and guards were on hand quickly to clean up the mess.

What appears to be another murder took place on the 30th of last month, near the gardens of the Cathedral. A middle-aged dwarf was found bleeding out, propped up at the corner of a building. Guards spotted the dwarf and the blood trail and are now appealing for any witnesses that may have seen what happened on the Sunday evening. The dwarf had grey hair and a long beard, with a number of scars on his face. He appeared to have no boots on and his veins seemed very blueish in colour. If anyone knows the identity of the dwarf, it’d help the guard investigation

Madame Fort’una’s predictions and advice for masses.

Zis veek’s prediction goes out to the feral among us, ze Druids!

Have you had lot of konfusing dreams lately? Don’t fret. Zey aren’t varnings about what’s going to happen next in your life. Zey’re just silly visions kooked up by your subkonscious. When you vake up zey’re gone, and zey should be forgotten. Being preockupied vith what your sleeping brain komes up vith kould be vay of procrastinating on some stuff you should take kare of now. Get back to reality and koncentrate on koncrete.
(Madame Fot’una’s scribe would like it to be known that all predictions are transcribed accurately and fairly. And that any lawsuits should be addressed to Madame herself, not a poor, nameless intern who pissed off the wrong Magistrate.)

((If you want to get involved helping publish the Stormwind Times, contact Sprizzle-EarthenRing in game, or via mail!))

((If you have TRP-extended, search for player stashes on the Map. You’ll find the newspaper ICly in them!))

((IC and OOC comments always welcome!!))


It’s really entertaining and fun to be the reader for a change, rather than the investigative reporter and writer. I’ll try to dig in and make some IC responses too.

Feel free to discover that reporter side of you again, if you’d like, to write a little article. I’m always looking for fellow writers to help! :slight_smile:

It is tempting. I might on a freelance level in some way, but time available isn’t really on my side and there are only so few hours to make do with in a day.

But I will make sure to let you know if I manage to get something done!

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