The Stormwind Times - Issue 2

Stormwind Times

Your local weekly newspaper, bringing you the latest and greatest from our nation’s capital.

Witch hunt!

Last Wednesday, only a couple hours after last weeks ‘Times’ was published, Stormwind City Guards descended on the Cathedral to arrest Administrator Terrasha Dawnborn for High Treason! They were met with some resistance from Knights of the Silver Hand, who were there in defence of Ms. Dawnborn. Guards eventually managed to apprehend Ms. Dawnborn, and were seen removing her from the Cathedral, just after 8 bells and leading her off to the guard cells on Old Town. Knights of the Silver Hand and knights of Northshire were both in tow, trying to disrupt the City Guards work. Awaiting the Guards, and Ms. Dawnborn, was a crowd of upset citizens. Many had put their faith in Ms. Dawnborn and the Cathedral of Light, but the crowds had been upset at what they see as a betrayal of the highest order. As the escort continued, some civilians let their feelings be known by shouting abuse at the culprit. Projectiles were thrown, however the Guard made it safely to their Headquarters. picture of the culprit being brought down the cathedral steps

The ‘Stormwind Times’ spoke to one citizen, who wished to remain anonymous. “She (Ms. Dawnborn) was always so welcoming and open to those coming in (to the Cathedral) for guidance. I cannot believe she would betray us all like this. You lose faith, not only in the city, but in the light”

After the City Guard had secured Ms. Dawnborn, they were confronted by angry civilians, demanding that Ms. Dawnborn be executed immediately for her betrayal! The Guard were quick to dampen any violence by imposing themselves onto the ‘mob’ and the crowds dispersed relatively quickly, grumbling as they went. The ‘Stormwind Times’ will keep all its readers updated as this story progresses.

I Can’t Get You Out Of My Headline…

Resident ‘Stormwind Times’ love doctor S.McPhrizzle is back with his secrets to a less lonely ‘Love is in the Air’ festival. It can be a hard time of year for those of you without a loved one. Especially after the recent wars have taken so many from us. If you find yourself alone, and in need of company, why not order yourself a friend from the ‘Phrizzle-400’ range. These lifelike friends can be the company you need this year. The ‘Phrizzle-400’ range, has a range of different size lifelike bots, from Gnome to Pandaren, that can have conversations with you, bring you breakfast in bed and even offer cuddles. Write to the ‘Stormwind Times’ for a quote!

Not for you? Dr. McPhrizzle offers other solutions to filling that seemingly empty void a life mate can offer. One thing I find really helps - go to your local bar and have a few drinks. You never know what might happen. You may meet the ‘one’. If, after a while, you are still alone, drink some more. Keep drinking until you meet someone. Trust me, this works! Still struggling? Take a mixture of crushed up Bruiseweed and Earthroot. This mixture will make you the most confident person on Azeroth, and you will be able to woo the legs off of N’Zoth himself!

Latest Tidbits

The ‘Times’ would like to offer our hearty congratulations to the newly wed Mr. and Mrs. Fuzzles, who reside in Stormwinds Cathedral square. The two were recently married in a quiet ceremony last week. Mrs Fuzzles said of the wedding “It was just purrfect!” We’d like to wish them all the best for the future.

Thought to be missing, Miss Rila Marrows has been found safe and well, as of seventh day of this month. Miss Marrows had been missing since November, however Guard sources confirmed she was found and is well.

An unnamed night elf has been granted permission by his majesty’s court that allows her to walk around almost naked. Shocked viewers were perplexed by the magistrate’s decision however the decision is, apparently, final. If you wish to wander around ‘almost’ nude, permits can be obtained from the city halls!

*A picture of a busy night in the Pig and Whistle is here, advertising you coming to drink there! *

The Stormwind Times is edited and published in Stormwind City, Dwarven District, by Sprizzle McPhrizzle, GJS.

((If you want to get involved helping publish the Stormwind times, contact Sprizzle in game, or via mail!))
((IC and OOC comments always welcome!!))

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