Ever felt curious about the tale of the hozen and the buttercream pie that Ban-Lu constantly teases? There’s one! Written by Dawncaller on wow reddit. Enjoy!
The Tale of the Hozen and the Buttercream Pie
Welcome! The narration will start soon. Maybe you want to find a good spot!
Welcome, welcome, everyone. I am Loremaster Inkpaw of the Storytellers. Today you will hear “The Tale of the Hozen and the Buttercream Pie”. Please, sit down and listen for a while.
Zaoh Thousandflavor was once the best chef in Honeydew Village. His most prized recipe was that of the buttercream pie, which he prepared every week as a tribute for the diligent farmers of his home.
One day, after placing the pie outside to cool down, a hozen came from the Jade Forest and stole it away. Zaoh was devastated and told the farmers that their favorite pie could not be served today.
A week later, he prepared another pie, just to be stolen away again. Zaoh chose another place to let the pie cool down, but the hozen stole it regardless.
Even when he watched the cake vigilantly, the hozen was too fast, grabbing the cake in one second and disappearing into the Jade Forest the next.
So Zaoh decided to catch the hozen. The next time the hozen would try to steal the pie, a hidden net would trap him in place.
And it worked. As soon as the hozen tried to take the pie, the trap triggered, leaving behind a hozen covered in buttercream pie, caught in a net.
Having caught the thief, Zaoh pondered: What would he do now with the trapped hozen?
He spoke to a merchant, a woman named Azula Craftpaw, who had traveled far and wide. She advised him to let the hozen go and just bake a different pie, so the hozen would not come back.
He spoke to Yuon, the military commander of his village, who had seen many wars. He advised him to beat the hozen to death and place his bloody corpse on the holy shrine of the hozen, to strike fear into their hearts, so they would not come back.
Then he met with farmer Baransu, who speaks for all the farmers in the village. The farmer told Zaoh: “Do not obsess about the pie, do not obsess about the theft. Do not let fear control your actions, but hope.”
Zaoh Thousandflavor returned home to the trapped hozen.
He prepared tea and a buttercream pie.
Then he freed the hozen and invited him to eat.
The hozen was dazzled by the actions of Zaoh - and for better or for worse he decided to stay. “Do not fear, the food is not poisoned. Neither is the tea”, Zaoh said and started to eat and drink. The hozen sat down and joined the pandaren.
After the meal, Zaoh proposed to set up trade between the hozen and pandaren. They could get as much pie as they wanted in return for the secrets and ingredients of hozen cuisine, among other things.
The hozen took this propasal to the hozen village, told his leaders about the “ooking pandaren” and returned with good news. Following this historical event, trade between hozen and pandaren flourished for many years to come.
When time had turned the fur of both the hozen and the pandaren grey and white, the hozen returned to Zaoh and asked him: “Why did you not ook me like a dooker when I stole all that pie years ago?”
And Zaoh answered: “I thought about it. I asked a merchant and he advised me to change my ways in order to avoid your kind. I asked a military man and he told me to strike with violence in order to avoid your kind.”
“Then I talked to a farmer, who was the true victim in all of this. And he told me to focus not on pride or anger, but on hope.”
“Both the merchant as well as the military man spoke from a place of fear and distrust, aiming to widen the gap between hozen and pandaren.”
“The farmer was the only one who spoke from a place of hope, with the goal of bringing together hozen and pandaren. To invest in you, no matter the response. And while not easy, it was the right choice.”
The hozen understood this and laughed from the bottom of his heart. “You ook of a dook.”
And so they continued to eat pie every week, until one day the celestials took them from this land.
Thank you for listening to the Storytellers today. Let us now eat, drink, think and share wisdom together.
Thank you! May Chi-Ji bless your journeys with hope!
