Disclaimer: I’m a casual player, doing PvE with the objective to get tank/heal/dps to 2500M+ and not more, I do make mistakes and don’t execute perfect gameplay 
However I really struggle on my VDH atm, I’m 610ilvl and doing 7s, could possible to 8-9 with good groups, but 10s is far out.
My prot. Warr etc. could easily do 10s by now.
Is VDH just that much more gear depended than most other tanks or should I be high enough for 10s now (and by that I’m prob not just good enough)
I’m following a standard defensive build, enchanted gear except 1 ring, ok trinkets (I think)
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How to say it.
Right now DH is a very bad choice for a tank.
For you as a casual player it is one of the worst options.
Playing DH tank is about thinking carefully about where and how you will use your deff spells. Because DH is relatively easy to kill without CD. If you make mistakes up to +10,11 you can still survive, but at +12 and above it is unplayable. In DH it is very important how capable your healer is. That is why they do not want DH tanks in higher keys. He has low damage and without a deff spell he is very vulnerable.
in addition Disco priests are very popular now, which in my opinion are not the best at healing DH.
Shields excel with paladin = they have synergy and many healers somehow can’t heal with other classes than paladins, because paladin tank is over 80% 
. Paladin can heal himself and in most situations when he runs out of HP he can heal himself, through life on hands or world of glory or throws a bubble at himself, but other classes don’t have that option…it seems to me that healers often rely on the person healing himself…
-In DH it is important to plan all m+ and know when and how to use deff spells and how and what mobs you can pull. If you can’t do that, you need to study it or just don’t play DH right now…
-A quality healer is very important. I have a pleasant experience with Monk and Shaman
-on higher keys +10 and above, you need to interrupt mobs correctly!
I personally have a bad experience with DH because it is very difficult to Tank, but it is a challenge and if you want to stand out and be good at something, DH is an interesting choice. But without a permanent party I’m afraid you won’t get further than +12 keys.
Good luck