Warcraft "Nativity" story

Disclaimer: I started writing this because I like Christmas and the Christmas “spirit”. It’s not intended as any kind of religious statement, just something my mind thought up because I also like Warcraft.

I do not adhere to Christianity or any other religion.

I plan to add a paragraph daily over the next 23 days.

:musical_note: Long time ago, in Blood Watch - says a holy paladin’s tale… Mae’Ree’s boychild, Jee’sus Cryst, was born on Winter Veil. :notes:

Draenei Josuf travelled with his spouse Mae’Ree. She was with child, and the time of birth was drawing near. But they had been told by a peculiar source, that this was not a completely ordinary pregnancy… :pregnant_woman:

Mysterious Naaru appeared out of thin air and told them Josuf was not the father of the child. A holy choir of Naaru had informed them that the child was conceived by the Holy Light itself… :stars: :open_mouth:

Josuf and his wife Mae’Ree inquired at the inn, but there was no vacancy. And so it was, after they spoke with Astur, the stable master, that Jee’sus Cryst was born, in a stable all forlorn… :baby: :milky_way:

Unbeknownst to Josuf and Mae’Ree, there were Scourge forces (?) who wanted Jee’sus dead, because… he was destined to become the Light King - an embodiment of Light and Love so strong that it could annihilate the Lich King, who was the leader of the Scourge…

But a group of 3 wise cloth-wearing casters (a jolly wintery Frost mage, a Holy priest, and a no-nonsense Destruction warlock…) were :grey_exclamation: tasked by Prophet Velen, possibly through a time/space anomaly, to ensure the survival and prosperity of holy infant Jee’sus Cryst. :bearded_person: :innocent: :mage:

A bright new shining star in the sky (perhaps cosmic residue from an inter-dimensional spaceship…?) showed them where to go, and they brought their greatest of gifts to the child. :star2: :arrow_left: :horse: :horse_racing:

Thus was born - or reborn, if you will - the lovely tradition of giving presents on the Eve of Winter’s Veil - which, according to the story, was when baby Jee’sus was born. :gift: :christmas_tree:

The warlock gifted to the holy child, the enchanting gift of a Soulstone preserving the child’s life, ensuring that the child would live, despite wicked attempts by the wretched agents of the Scourge to murder the infant. :green_heart:

(Considering the origin and nature of a Soulstone, Josuf and Mae’Ree - being religious folk - might have been opposed to their child being affected by such a thing, but maybe the well-meaning warlock subtly slipped it onto him anyway… :smirk:)

The priest cast upon the angelic baby Jee’sus a Holy Shield, adding to the child’s safety, and the mage instilled into the seraphic infant the boon of Arcane Intellect, aiding the development of Jee’sus Cryst’s uniquely bright and brilliant mind. :bulb: :nerd_face:

Furthermore, the priest spoke the Power Word of Fortitude softly but grandly into baby Jee’sus’ ear, even further solidifying the doubtlessness of the holy child’s prosperity. :speaking_head: :speech_balloon: :ear:

Also wanting give a second gift, the mage conjured bountiful food and drink for the little one and his blessed parents (and also for the mage himself, and his companions). :bento: :cookie: :milk_glass: :cupcake:

Finally, the warlock gave the splendid infant a healthstone, to boost the child’s vitality if the need should arise. :switzerland:
After all, only hours after his birth, baby Jee’sus already had many powerful and dangerous enemies. :person_fencing: :japanese_ogre: :skull_and_crossbones:

(This, as well, he probably secretly and discreetly placed among Mae’Ree and Josuf’s belongings, since such pious folk might not want that kind of gift from a warlock… :smirk:) :gift_heart:

A group of shepherds tended elekks nearby, and were terrified when Naaru suddenly appeared before them, but the Naaru told them to not fear.
:elephant: :scream: :angel:

The Naaru told the shepherds to seek out Jee’sus and praise and honor him. The shepherds gifted to the little boy and his mother and father, some of their survival items, and clothes, so that the child and his parents would have warm clothing, and be well equipped to survive and prosper. :teddy_bear:
:socks: :scarf: :gloves:

The elekks that the shepherds were shepherding, tooted their trunks celebrating the birth of the holy infant.
:baby: :notes: :elephant:

The warlock had learned mining, and offered to Josuf and Mae-Ree, and to their holy son, some gold that he had prospected. :pick: Everybody knows baby stuff costs a lot of money… :moneybag: :money_with_wings:

The mage, determined to master ways of conjuring food, other than just the magical ones, gave some spices to Mae’Ree and Josuf and their :musical_note: holy infant so tender; and mild :notes: were the spices, guaranteeing that the child and his blessed parents need not eat a bland meal.
:onion: :salt:

Being an aspiring alchemist, the Holy priest bestowed unto the blessed little family, various beneficial oils and potions. :test_tube: :alembic:

Jee’sus’ destiny was to grow up to be an extraordinarily powerful Lightforged Holy paladin, whose unmatched healing powers would heal Azeroth itself, and by extension, all of existence, since Azeroth was supposed to be the most powerful world soul ever.
:globe_with_meridians: :angel:

Not to mention, Jee’sus’ Light-blessed skill at vanquishing evil, would be completely unparallelled. Doers of evil, and seemingly powerful villains, better beware…
:speaking_head: :crossed_swords: :japanese_ogre:

Many years after his birth, Jee’sus’ would give his First Disciples their most important mission. These were 12 highly disciplined representatives of both the Horde and the Alliance, together possessing every conceivable skill. Among them were the mage, the warlock and the priest who sought him out when he was just a baby. They were long-lived races, fortunately, so they would be useful for many years to come…

Knowing they could not solely rely on cloth and magic to keep faith (and themselves and their allies) alive throughout the world, and ultimately, the universe - they now numbered a warrior, a rogue, and a monk, :martial_arts_uniform:
a druid and a shaman, a paladin and a ranger, and even a demon hunter and a seriously reformed death knight. The two latter were uniquely important because the foremost enemies of the Light’s righteous agents, were demons and the undead Scrooge- I mean, Scourge!
:japanese_ogre: :skull_and_crossbones:

Over time, the Disciples would spread inspiring stories about Jee’sus and the Light to the whole world, and even to other worlds! :globe_with_meridians:

:musical_note: But the harsh, holy winter turned for tears, as Jee’sus Cryst’s father, Joe, was arrested for evading taxes for years :notes:


…And that 24th paragraph

(or thereabouts - I may have lost count…)

concludes my World of Warcraft Christmas Story.

Happy late December to all - and to all, a good night!
:santa: :heart: :christmas_tree:

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