Ways To Kill A Dwarf

Argent Dawn
1

I’ve recently had Lord of the Clans on my mind, and in particular the Shattered Hand orcs singing around a campfire about different ways to skin, maim and drown dwarves. The tune stuck in my head, and I thought it’d be fun to add more to this great song. Here’s my brief take.

There’s fourteen ways to kill a dwarf,
Kill a dwarf, kill a dwarf!
Fourteen ways to kill a dwarf
And here is number fourteen!

Grab a barrel full of pitch,
Stuff him in and watch him twitch,
Then dump it into a ditch,
and now there’s thirteen more!

There’s fourteen ways to kill a dwarf,
Kill a dwarf, kill a dwarf!
Fourteen ways to kill a dwarf
And here is number thirteen!

Use an axe that isn’t dull,
Chuck it right into his skull,
Another stunted dwarf you cull,
And now there’s twelve more!

Feel free to add a verse or two yourself. Could be a fun way to express your creativity and your aggression against the vertically impaired.

Dwarf players need not comment.

(Source for the original song)

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Poison the ale, problem solved :blush:

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ACH–…!!

I mean, He’s 'oot o’line! … but ‘is funky Orc tune be jus’ a’boot right…

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Is that a threat?

I feel that’s a threat

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Run whilst you can, I caught a bunch of angry dwarves marching up towards you. :axe:

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Good!

We can make new songs while we shave their corpses!

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I was about to say…

“We can all agree the beards are off limits, right? … right?”

But I suppose wenches are getting squashed under steam tanks… :boom:

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Yes, I’d like to report a hate crime.

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I will beat you to death. (ingame)

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Lad… this post here

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Ooooooo’yoo’ be darin’ yoo’!! … Fuelin’ yer’ oon’ bloodeh’ corps’pile yee’ ar’!

Frowns in Iron

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Incoherent dwarvish accent

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/e streches hand from inside of bush. Pushes the big red “bump” button, hears angry gibberish from the East. Retreats into the flora.

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They would ask you for another one. :laughing:

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/e Mutters angry gibberish in beard

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And now people will get the newest hit single, all the ways to get killed by a dwarf.
There’s more than one as we’re a witty bunch.

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There is fourteen ways to skin a dwarf! skin a dwarf! Skin a dwarf! Fourteen ways to skin a dwarf and here is number seven!

Wrap his beard around a plank, give that plank a mighty yank! Peel him right down to his shank and now there is seven mooooore…

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