Friends and forumers, we have gathered here today to bear witness in the matrimonial [Bind-On-Pickup] of Sandario and Heavenseeker. This day celebrates the commitment and love with which they start their epic [quest chain] together.
What greater thing is there for this [Priest] and [Paladin] than to feel that they are joined together, to strengthen each other in all trials and quests, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in happiness.
Both Sandario and Heavenseeker have agreed to come together before you without reservation, declaring they are free to offer themselves to the sacred quest of matrimony. If any among you have reason that this should not take place, please hold your troll, and feel free to /[gquit].
[Pause, and then move on.]
Please take each other’s hands.
These are the hands of your best friend, full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that protect each other in [PVP], looking for a group, raids, and any other gaming adventure.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours as you build your Garrison together.
There are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow, joy, and irritation while waiting for [rez-sickness] to resolve.
These are the hands that will give you support and encouragement to chase down your dreams and destroy [the Jailer].
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times, and cheer when you finally acquire [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker].
These are the hands that will offer you [Mana] and [Health] when needed, and [Tank] for you so that you can loot to your hearts content.
These are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still give you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
Do you, Sandario, take Heavenseeker to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in everlasting matrimony? Will you love honor and keep her, in rez-sickness and in full bars of health, taunt and tank for her, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in all character levels and abilities, in good raids and bad, for need and greed, in this world and all others?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do you, Heavenseeker, take Sandario to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in everlasting matrimony? Will you love, honor and keep him, in rez-sickness and in full bars of health, taunt and [DPS] for him, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in all character levels and abilities, in good raids and bad, for need and greed in this world and all others?
Disclaimer: Names mentioned here are not against naming and shaming, I have gotten permission from the posters to use their names in this parody thread
