Iām in to many many many things
But draw the line at tentacles
She kept knocking stuff off of the furniture with her wings. I told her to stop doing that indoors, but noooo. I drew the line when she eye beamed my favourite squeaky toy.
He was very protective of me, but he almost bit my throat when we were sleeping.
So I had to make a tough choiceā¦ possibly suffer an untimely death, or break up to protect myself from this unwanted murder attempt. 
Nothing personal really!
There comes a time in every relationship, I donāt know about others, but it does for me, when the spark simply dies.
The feeling dies.
The magic diesā¦
The money dries upā¦
The love just dies.
And when all that happens, this gal needs to keep her fabulous lifestyle going. It is now this time with Dunkiee, sheās just so poor. I needed a new Ferrari, she decided to buy felweed. I mean cmon!!
So it sadly ends in divorce.
Or murder. Againā¦
Anyone got some spare ground handyā¦ preferably isolated and unlikely to be dug up by wildlifeā¦ And if you happen to be rich and single. (lifts up slip and shows a bit of thigh while flashing a devilishly attractive smile)
prepares dead Pepe to place in next posterās mouth in case they sing to the Feds.
1 Like
After her death by traumatic rectal perforation our marriage automatically became null and void 
1 Like
She would beat up warlocks and call them ānerdā, even when we were on a date.
2 Likes
Their hair didnāt match their outfit.
Sirā¦ I am Souldefiler the fabulous. My attire merely prevents your eyes melting upon seeing pure perfection.
I see you have 4 posts, I shall forgive you this once as you are new.
Do not allow your eyes to further deceive you, lest the fabulousness consume you and leave you as a chewed up hunk of worgen dew claws and lank fur.
oh yeah!!
Why am I divorcing youā¦
ā¦
Because I can.
4 Likes
She always insisted on putting his undead minions in the bedā¦ the musty smell was unbearable
3 Likes
Ah I see. Fair enough.
Ah thank you for that. Yes indeed I am newer here!
Notedā¦
Writes in his book to not make the red-haired death knight upset
Sad worgen noises
Its all true swishes fabulously luscious hair over shoulders
But beware of the one called Afenton.
A pugnacious peddler of untruths and beguilement, she will seek to lead you astray by betrothal only to slide in the dagger of divorce when least expected.
Also anything she tells you about me is a filthy lie.
3 Likes
The cake was a lie?!
What I couldnāt stand was you calling all my warlock dates nerds once. So I decided to cheat on you with oneā¦ a redhead velf to be exact.
And she had a pleasant scent too. Hey, dark is beautiful 
1 Like
Well, it not worked out at all
I turned out, she only wanted to use me as her personal fel and arcane battery
First it was just harmless fun, but when she tried to bite my neck with her fangs to drink my blood too?
She went down a dark path, and we canāt go there together
I have my own dark path, thank you
But we are still f(r)iends!
1 Like
theres only space for one emo in our marriageā¦ and itās me !
A human dk with black hairā¦
Let that sink in and youāll sympathise.
2 Likes
I do not divorce them they are cool and friendly. In stead, I divorce ugly husbands brother who does good for nothing by cut him in the arm HAHAHA live to dream.
I am divorcing Obesitea because they did not properly divorced Souldefiler.
1 Like
And I divorced Skadefryden to keep the cycle going.
Whatever it means. 
She deceived me with her red hair. I thought I was marrying Souldefiler, a strong dk shaped protector but all I got was another priest 
2 Likes