As a trained and well-respected marriage counselor I have studied your post and come to the following conclusion.
Step 1.
Contact your wife by any of the following methods.
A. Phone.
B. Text Message
C. EMail
D. Contact via Third Party.
Once Contact (section 1 and where appropriate relevant action) has been established the following options may now be acted upon.
- During contact.
A. Obsequious handwritten letter admitting it was your fault and therefore forever being known as El Doormat
B. Take a large wooden ladle and insert it violently into the letterbox of her current whereabouts
C. Write a particular scathing letter about her slovenly cleaning and have it printed and copied for redistribution
D. Hire an exotic pet enthusiast to unleash a plague of crickets that they normally feed to their pets and have them unleashed through her bedroom window.
E. Find her automobile, open the bonnet, and inside the engine place some cooked shrimp and cunningly place it near the fan air intake system. Next time she turns on the car when it is hot… ooooh baby…
F. Hire a mariachi band to “serenade” her aT 3 AM…
After choosing one (or all) of the following options go home, kick off your shoes, crack open a cold one, unzip your fly and let your belly finally get the freedom it deserves and then boot up WoW.
Souldefiler Marriage And Child Kare (SMACK) PLC, Helping struggling couples to just say "I Don’t Love You Anymore since 1993