She just couldn’t get on my level.
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It was just a trick, to be honest… cute fox eyes… err… eye, fluffy tail and ears and he was eating out of my paws
Something he shouldn’t have done 
There wasn’t a divorce you see… so I can legally inherit
I am now a widower with a fortune
And a bachelor again…
We met in Vol’dun, and he stole my heart… couldn’t resist the fox with his cute bushy tail and that handsome grin. But, he stole more than just my heart in the end. One day he unleashed one of his “tricks” on me and… poof. He was gone, vanished into the shadows never to be heard from again, along with half my gold and my chest armor.
Never trust a fox. They’re all trouble I tell ya.
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His idea of a romantic outing was sharing a single plate of spaghetti in a dark alley.
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she found out i was having an affair with her ex husband while she was married to him 
4th time in my life i met the gnome tho, don’t get why she did not recognise me at the start. still picked her pocket when she left.
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She found out I also had an affair with Pepperpéw’s ex-husband
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I found out about his affair.
How could you 
Found out she was secretly a blue dragon. What is it with dragons and mortals?! Is this the new Windrunner scandal?
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She wanted to shave my human form and worgen forms…
And she didn’t wanted to let me play with the magical broom at home 
Too much hair, no tusks. Don’t even know da first thing about de voodoo. What more do ya expect from a human who forget to shave doe? Was doomed from da start.
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He doesn’t like noodles. There just isn’t a future for us.
I should have known better, but my fool romantic heart got the best of me.
Everything was going well until I took her on a two week vacation to China.
Something awoke inside her, like a light being flicked on in a pitch black room.
We’d eat Chinese take out for dinner every night.
Drink herbal tea with lunch.
She started to pin her hair up into buns and wore traditional Chinese clothing.
I could handle all that. But it was not enough for her. She kept going.
One day I came home from work and threw my coat on the back of a chair. She made me hang it up a dozen times in a row.
Then it happened. I came home. Humming from the back garden… I go outside, and my Wife is sitting upside down in a tree munching on Bamboo with black makeup around her left eye. She had fully transformed into a Panda.
I told her to get down from there, just for her to Whirling Dragon punch me in the face.
So I left.
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You didn’t leave, you were kicked out 
(Next person feel free to skip this post.)
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She didnt like the threesome with her sister.
Or last month orgy.
No passion in this one.
Oh while.
I find an other pet to train
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOMAN! GAARGHHH!
angry dwarf noises
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As much as i love a man with a good beard and scottish accent you were just too short for me, and your kind would have never accepted me. People were always trying to kill me whenever i entered stormwind or looked at me funny.
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I annulled it soon as I woke up with a carrot in my ear and a Barbie doll on my pillow.
I would like it to be known I have NEVER seen Calessi in my life, I have never been to Vegas and I have never, EVER gone to a pawn shop, loudly shouted "GIVE ME A RING I FOUND ME A BELF HOTTIE! and I have never ever sprung out of a cake wearing only a paper hat.
(I do actually have a Scottish accent though…)
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Talks big about defiling souls and being ruthless, but in reality is a super heart warming cutie.
I married them for power and making my jobs easier, but somewhere along the line we fell in love and they just said let’s run away and retire in someplace unknown.
Welp, Someone like me can never be let of the hook after all the jobs I’ve done, so its best to leave them be, its safer for them anyway.
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Thought it was funny to sap me mid shower ,then to vanish on me for days and constantly trying to poison me and always stood behind me !!
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So. I got a little drunk and things went a little wild. First of all I married a woman. Secondly I married a madwoman. Thirdly (which was really the dealbreaker), those void whispers kept telling her my most embarrassing secrets!
You have not known true horror until your wife casualluy mentions that one time your fleas spread across half of Stormwind, but you thought no one would ever find out.
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