Sorry, I cant handle the hair stuck to the couch…
Life’s too short! It is you not me 
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It is definitely you! You throw everything we build to … play WoW.
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My affliction for him decreased for each judgement he cast on me…
He never wanted to run keys with me 
Could never tell if she was looking me in the eye or asleep while I was talking.
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I must have been completely paralytic if I agreed to marry a panda…
I guess we are both endangered species.
Yes you are endangered, hon, cuus your arrows never land on the spot!
Our bow string is cut and you can take your pets with you.
I am keeping the kitty though. 
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i dont like alliance bye.
She tamed me and stole my heart! 
Then after a few beautifull weeks… I saw it
She and that giant snake
And … and… that 
over its head!!!
Sorry… I… I can’t continnue
Still painfull to talk about it… turn off the camera, TURN IT OFF DAMN YOU!!!
When I lounged on the love seat and whispered “take off the eyepatch and lie next to me…”
And I saw a gaping maw full of writhing maggots…
And he wouldn’t let me eat them.
He simply had to go.
she promised she would be my pet. But someone else tamed her
Refusing to get her pets neutered. As a result my leg is now worn away
May carry two of those giant swords in battle, but that’s just overcompensating…
That grip of the dead had an adverse effect on my anatomy and when she said she had a heartbreaker talent, thought she meant she liked Tom Petty. Ah well…
Note to self: never order a whife from a Goblin mail-order bride-service!
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Makeup and hair products everywhere.
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she promised me that she was totally horde panderan and not a filthy alliance one. Everything went down the drain once we dinnered in the middle of ogrimar, the guards trying to all kill her was proof enough that she lied to me!
Divorce happened shortly after that!
It was a cultural thing
Or relegious actually
I follow Gral, the Shark, loa of the Sea…
And my now-ex spouse refused to make sacrifices to Gral’s Children aka make prisoners walk the plank… insted tried to eat them!
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You got a task from me, that had to be done. And it was to kill the witch who stole one of my abominations. But no… you decide instead to come home and give me flowers… also what should we do with this situation? It’s going to be a divorce, of course.