Arclight and the Battalion are helping each other!
I also welcome any non gnome, goblin, vulpera, orc and forsaken to come and RP with us. We already had a pleasant encounter with a pair of zandalari trolls in Sri-La Village.
Signing up with the Battalion has been the best choice Zipbomms ever made! He is able to visit distant lands, reap large amounts of ore, and take part in fascinating experiments with the wise Captain Trautfizzle!
((You may be sent on guard duty anywhere on Azeroth - expenses not covered. Hard Labour semi-mandatory. Experimental rituals may result in interdimensional servitude.))
I only wanted to summon a new Succubus as the last one got too powerful and left me ok?!
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The Bilgewater Battalion is as lively as ever. Looking forward to our Harbor hours this weekend!
BE THERE!!!
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Harbour Hours will be tonight at 8.00PM! Last night we had a meeting to discuss what roles various members of the Battalion will play in making the Harbour Hours run smoothly, but will everything go as well as planned? You got Goblins on your side, nothing could go wrong! Right�
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As the Battalion are increasingly faced with jobs involving holding back the advance of Nâzoths forces on Bilgewater settlements, Doctor Gloamford has created a new drug which allows people to be lulled into a happy, complacent state and completely ignore the whispersâŚ
The Vulpera of the Battalion who have already caused a stir due to how susceptible they are to the Old Gods corruption have made a mistake about the new alchemical wonder, will âSunshineâ bring the Battalion salvation, or will something go wrong and make everyone fall prey to its âunintendedâ side effects?
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The Bilgewater Battalion have pulled through some dramatic times!
No one knows why Nâzoths minions keep attacking the Harbour, why our soldiers minds keep being missed with or why weâve spent two weeks delving into peoples nightmares- maybe itâs that stockpile of Titan weaponry which we picked up in the Storm Peaks last year and completely forgot about when no one wanted to test a powerful titan rifle with unknown side effects?
We deploy to Uldum on Sunday to help clean up the forces of Nâzoth- but will the exhausted defenders on money and beachfront property be able to overcome the betrayal which the hunt for blood stones has incurred or will they find themselves alone in the face of overwhelming odds?
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Come and visit us in the Harbor. Whether you bring trouble or jolly company, well surely be there to greet you personally! 
After a calamitous expedition to Uldum, a bunch of mooks succeeded in blockading us all into a wooden hut as Captain Trautfizzle ordered but then smashing a window, letting the Aqir in, trying to kill them with fire which thus caused the Captain to sustain critical injuries in a burning, collapsing building full of bugs. Semi-competent medical aid was applied back on the ship but the ship was then blinked into a cliff, killing the Captain.
Now the Battalion is shattered, some are in Uldum, still fighting the Aqir and trying to scavenge parts of our broken ship, others are back home trying to keep the Harbour under control and all the while, the remainder follow the twisted plan of Trautfizzles Succubus Hellissa to bring him back. That being said, with all this chaos going on, nowâs a better time than ever to enlist!
Our recruiters include not only me but also: Ligsette, Kinoro and Letzy!
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[Poster appears on the Command Board in Orgrimmar, written in a very rough orcish manner.]
BILGEWATER BATTALION NEEDS HEALERS
PLEASE SIGN UP IF YOU ARE A HEALER OF THE FOLLOWING RACES
- GOBLIN
- ORC
- FORSAKEN
- VULPERA
SAVE ME FROM DUMB HEALING WORK. THANK YOU
Rest in peace captain Trautfizzle, a great man, a great captainâŚ
I hope our trade still continues, may we all have a minute of silence for this fine captain, please.
Heâs in a better place now, away from Blizzâs dumb choices, he wonât need to experience an expansion that might go bad.
Rest in peace friend.
(Canât wait for what the future holds 
)
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Wait did the Captain actually died? or was he just kidnapped for the 23th time.
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Scargra was hard at work at the forge as always. The chattering of Goblins echoed out from the command building behind her. When she joined the Battalion she had expected that she would be building and manning machines of war in no time, that she would slice through her enemies with cutting edge equipment and technology. Instead her first mission consisted of âdressing up as Venture Company piratesâ because someone thought it would be funny to use them as disguises and kidnapping Alliance paladins. The Lightforged had it coming but she could have learnt a thing or two from the Dark Iron. Alas, his head was chopped off with a âpopâ by an Orc who had the brains of a peon and ran around in a loincloth turning skulls into plant pots.
One soldier wasnât aware that he was apart of a military, another didnât even know what the Bilgewater Cartel WAS until she informed him. In the end, it turned out that the Battalion whose recruitment posters had looked so promising were a band of misfits, and without the iron first of their Captain pressing down on them, they were incredibly unruly misfits at that.
From the Forsaken Lieutenant who only had harsh lectures and threats for her, to the group of mad men who seemed to follow the Battalion, Scargra could only clench her teeth frustratedly as she continued to hammer plates back into shape. It was a bad first mission, even though they won. Though for a unit with such a high success rate, she wondered what tricks these âWildcardsâ truly had up their sleeves.
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Wait, youâre -still- capturing Alliance paladins?! Iâd have thought the warâs end would put a halt to that. Seems Des still canât sleep easy!
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No it was pirates and venture co, we had no hand in the kidnapping
whatever you have heard is fake news.
Also join the battalion, and learn the secrets to our unreasonable high success rates, its toots worth it, I swear!
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We need a back up paladin in case one of the three we captured die!
We tried to capture the Dark Iron paladin that was with them just in case but Orkhid kind of beheaded himâŚ
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The Bilgewater Battalion love to live up to their âWildcardâ status. I can never figure them out and thatâs the joy of it. They embrace the ideals of the goblins of a fighting force that embodies technology and money making, all the while getting to blow things up.
But not too many things. After all, you canât make a profit by smashing all the eggs.
âŚThen again, you could sell them as âpre-openedâ scrambled eggs.
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After our little fleshbeast experiment âShubâ ended up breaking free and bringing some echoes of Nyaâlotha down upon the Secret Lab, Captain Trautfizzleâs corpse has been stolen just days before the demonic ritual of resurrection was due to take place! The Battalion were given a choice - kill Aiga, Ligsette and Trauts blood stone holding demon, Hellissa, or lose him forever. Though is everything truly as it seems?
If you want to find out, join the Bilgewater Battalion on your Goblin, Orc, Forsaken or Vulpera ASAP! One or two of our recruiters are in Orgrimmar before RP in Bilgewater Harbour starts at 8.00 in the evening almost every night. Soon, all new recruits will get a FREE Bilgewater Battalion soldiers handbook IC with all sorts of information about the Battalion, its history, rules, machines of war and more!
(Disclaimer: All expenses used on outfitting you with weaponry, tabards, handbooks and if youâre a Goblin, standard issue armour and tool belts may come out of your pay when/if you donât die or desert beforehand and become a fully fledged Wildcard. Oh, you may also have to pay for the card as well. Every copper helps!)
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Never a dull moment in the battalion I tell you
one day you get deployment in exotic places and have to fight tooth and nail against equally exotic and possibly believed extinct abominations and next you are told investigate the decreasing rat population and its possible relation to the sudden increase in sheep population.
And I hear you,
âworking for a goblin is hardâ
âthey are so demandingâ
âwhat if they fire me after one mistake?â
Well I am happy you asked disembodied-voice-in-my-head
Let me as the foremost expert on all things arcane in the battalion de-spell your worries.
- We work hard, but we do it together!
- We demand your best and if that isnât good enough we force you into dangerous situation until you improve to an acceptable level.
- The only fire you have to worry about is of the friendly kind.
And with the level boost in effect, now is the perfect chance to level that goblin alt who has been sitting at the bottom of your character list since cataclysm.
Join the fun today.
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Battalion sold plenty of stuff at the Vulperan market last night.
We are currently back in Bilgewater Harbor, for some quality RP as always!
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