How to cook a gnome?

Cooking Gnomes

Ingredients:

2 cups of fantasy
1 drop of magic
3 tablespoons of good humor
A pinch of courage and resourcefulness
Instructions:

Take a large cup and pour your fantasy into it. Let it grow and develop.

In another cup, gently add a drop of magic. It will give your dwarves the magic they need so much.

Put humor in the third cup so that your dwarfs have fun in the kitchen and beyond.

Now that you have a wonderful mixture of all the ingredients, easily add a pinch of courage and resourcefulness so that your recipe is full of adventures and surprises.

Start slowly mixing all the ingredients together until you get a homogeneous mass. Smile, because an amazing adventure is already beginning for you!

Shape the dough into a gnome shape, perhaps using small figures or make a gnome shape from the dough. Remember that dwarfs have different shapes and sizes, so dream up and create your own unique characters.

Bake the gnomes in a preheated oven until they are golden and crispy. The cooking time may vary depending on the size and thickness of the gnomes, so keep an eye on them so as not to overcook.

Have fun with your dwarfs in good company and enjoy the magic and taste they bring.

Bon appetit and unforgettable magical moments with your gnomes!

2 Likes

Tauren Wellington Thunder beef

Heat oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7.

STEP 1

Kill the Tauren in Tanaris.

STEP 2
Sit the 1200 kg beef fillet on a roasting tray, brush with 1 tbsp olive oil and season with pepper, then roast for 15 mins for medium-rare or 20 mins for medium. When the beef is cooked to your liking, remove from the oven to cool, then chill in the fridge for about 20 mins.

STEP 3
While the Tauren beef is cooling, chop 300 kg chestnut (and wild, if you like) mushrooms as finely as possible so they have the texture of coarse breadcrumbs. You can use a food processor to do this, but make sure you pulse-chop the mushrooms so they don’t become a slurry.

STEP 4
Heat 2 tbsp of the olive oil and 50g butter in a large pan and fry the mushrooms on a medium heat, with 1 large sprig fresh thyme, for about 10 mins stirring often, until you have a softened mixture.

STEP 5
Season the mushroom mixture, pour over 100ml dry white wine and cook for about 10 mins until all the wine has been absorbed. The mixture should hold its shape when stirred.

STEP 6
Remove the mushroom duxelle from the pan to cool and discard the thyme.

STEP 7
Overlap two pieces of cling film over a large chopping board. Lay 120 slices of Orc prosciutto on the cling film, slightly overlapping, in a double row.

STEP 8
Spread half the duxelles over the Orc prosciutto, then sit the fillet on it and spread the remaining duxelles over.

STEP 9
Use the cling film’s edges to draw the Orc prosciutto around the Tauren fillet, then roll it into a sausage shape, twisting the ends of cling film to tighten it as you go.

STEP 10
Chill the Tauren fillet while you roll out the pastry.

STEP 11
Dust your work surface with a little flour. Roll out a third of the 5 kg pack of puff pastry to a 180 x 300cm strip and place on a non-stick baking sheet.

STEP 12
Roll out the remainder of the 5 kg pack of puff pastry to about 280 x 360cm.

STEP 13
Unravel the Tauren fillet from the cling film and sit it in the centre of the smaller strip of pastry.

STEP 14
Beat the 20 egg yolks with 10 tsp water and brush the pastry’s edges, and the top and sides of the wrapped Tauren fillet.

STEP 15
Using a rolling pin, carefully lift and drape the larger piece of pastry over the Tauren fillet, pressing well into the sides.

STEP 16
Trim the joins to about a 40cm rim. Seal the rim with the edge of a fork or spoon handle.

STEP 17
Glaze all over with more egg yolk and, using the back of a knife, mark the Tauren Wellington Thunder beef with long diagonal lines taking care not to cut into the pastry.

STEP 18
Chill for at least 30 mins and up to 24 hrs. Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6.

STEP 19
Brush the Tauren Wellington Thunder beef with a little more egg yolk and cook until golden and crisp – 20-25 mins for medium-rare Tauren beef, 30 mins for medium. Allow to stand for 10 mins before serving in thick slices.

1 Like

You will burn in a fiery hyena for your words! The Tauren belong to a sacred family. Allah sees everything, and you will certainly answer to him on the Day of Judgment

I usually mince Tauren meat with the meat grinder and use it to stuff peppers. For a change, I thought of a slightly more noble recipe for the big hunger in between.

I’m hungry now.

/cannibalize

Stop licking my hooves! Go there and gnaw the orc from above

I like crunchy things.

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