Nerevar, I saw a display of savagery the likes of which no member of any of Tamriel’s races Man, Mer, or Lizard should have to see. I was going to Suran to buy some more candles for the Sixth House bases and decided to pick up some wraps while I was there. While I was at the booth waiting to receive my wraps from the restaurant, I saw a fight break out between an orc and a bosmer. The orc was about seven foot fifty and was built like a steam centurion who watched too many masculinity influencers. My money was on him. The bosmer was about five foot nothing and looked absolutely blasted on skooma. His glassy eyes were sunken, his teeth falling out, and he smelled like crapping himself was more of a life style than a matter of circumstance for him.
I used to get into a lot of street fights in my youth, they called me the Dagoth Destroyer, and this bosmer was weak, Nerevar. But when hands began to be thrown, he jumped on top of that orc and sunk his few remaining teeth into him like a wild animal. No, I am not implying all bosmer are wild animals, unless they want to be. He started biting and giving this orc the Green Pact Special, by which I mean he was windmilling his arms at incredible speeds and beating the crap out of him, as the poor green bastard tried to shake him off.
It turns out it is very difficult to get a bosmer off of you after he has latched his teeth in and the orc had to use an ancient dangerous forbidden street fighting technique. He simply fell over on top of the bosmer and attempted to crush him with his weight. This should have killed that bosmer dead. Unfortunately for the orc, this only seemed to steel this resolve. On the way down, the bosmer pulled a full Jackie Chan and warped, spasmed out, turned into a troll on the spot right before my godly eyes.
Nerevar, I had heard that this was something bosmer could do - something about defending their homeland in the time of their greatest need. Apparently this cracked out junkie’s body decided that a street fight in a disgusting restaurant was his time of greatest need. I suspect this specific combination of dirt, blood, and unspeakable horrors left uncleaned on the floor of this restaurant accidentally contained all the alchemical reagents required to trigger the Wild Hunt.
The orc, to give him credit, seemed much more annoyed than afraid, and managed to get away from the troll long enough to call the guards. I missed most of the rest of what happened because my wrap was ready and my mind was firmly on that. But the next time I was able to pay attention, the troll was being hauled off by the Suran city guard and there was a Restoration mage reattaching the orc’s left arm and right leg. Judging by the lack of hair on the troll’s limbs and the severed pair of arms on the ground, it appeared the orc won the fight and the troll regenerated after the guards caught it.
I attempted to recruit that orc to the Sixth House by offering him a wrap but he called me an NPC and told me that I couldn’t understand the troll killing grindset. He still took the wrap though so I think I’m making progress.
, which I am inclined to think it is.
holes
mouth-breathing cat?
