Okay. I hate being That Person. I really, really do. So I’ll try to write this post without being That Person.
Years ago, I didn’t understand why minority cultures refused to give up some of their customs that, to me, seemed pointless and arbitrary. Why did they have these particular hills to die on, when they could just adopt the obviously and self-evidently objectively correct mainstream social customs that I saw everywhere around me and grew up with?
And then I found myself at the receiving end of that, in a country that I then thought of as my own. Because of what I believed in (or rather, didn’t believe in), and because of whom I loved.
The problem with following a majority cultural tradition is that it’s invisible to you, unless you make a conscious effort to see it. From your perspective, everyone else has a culture; you just have “the normal way things are”. It might be perplexing to you, for example, why someone doesn’t want to go along with a holiday that’s rooted in a particular religion, especially one that still wields tremendous political influence in much of the world and often uses it for ill ends. To you, it’s just part of your yearly routine, and is associated with good memories involving your family and friends, and in modern mass culture it’s been stripped of pretty much all religious context other than the name and motto, so why not enjoy the festive mood for its own sake? Why can’t the other person just do this one little thing?
Except to them, it might not be a little thing.
As it is said: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
I’m not trying to guilt-trip anyone, far from it. Enjoy the holiday if you do celebrate it! I don’t think it’s wrong to celebrate Christmas. As an atheist who isn’t qualified to talk about Christianity except in the most superficial way, I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to celebrate it if you aren’t Christian, either. What I’m cautious of is the peer pressure that inherently arises around mainstream cultural traditions.
Mainstream cultural traditions have great power as rituals of solidarity. And with that great power comes great responsibility. Celebrate them if you do — but be mindful of the power over minds that rituals wield, and use it responsibly. By which I mean — be aware that not everyone might see things the way you do, especially if they grew up under different circumstances.
Thank you, and happy holidays!