English is not my first language but i’ll try to explain it as well as i can.
My GF is really into rp and i’ve tried it myself casually but never really got emotionally involved like the more hardcore types. I had a discussion with her about erp and we both have different views. She sees it as only a part of the rp and i personally see it as sexting via game. To me erp is the same as one would send sexual messages over the phone to another person they know personally.
For that reason it would personally feel to me as being cheated on and i’m trying really hard to understand why anyone in a relationship would want to erp or have any form of sexual play with another person.
There’s ‘erotic role-play’ which is designed to be inherently sexual in nature and is designed to stimulate; this will take place between two ‘characters’ that have been designed to play those specific roles which is slightly different from sexting in which you’ll play as yourself.
‘ERP’ as your girlfriend is attempting to describe it, is what people use as an excuse to get off while using ‘character development’ as their reason. Ask her this; ‘why can’t you just fade it out, or skip over it and say it happened’? because the truth is, if she can’t do that, then she’s obviously enjoying the sexual aspect of it.
I must also add that WoW isn’t the proper environment for it and people shouldn’t do it in an online game. It would be a bit like whacking off on a football pitch. I don’t inherently find it wrong, however, in places that are designed for it; such as off game forums/sites/etc, and in your own personal chats/blaarrgggh.
I also don’t want to say this really, and I know it’s mean, but maybe you’re not satisfying her enough? People can be pretty weird about what they like, dude.
It’s possible that she’s just a massive nymphomaniac and likes to get it anywhere she can? Obviously, a lot of people don’t find sexting/erp/cybering/etc intimate and she might not consider it cheating since she’s -actually- sleeping with you.
I’m beginning to wonder if this is appropriate for the forums? >>
Erotic-roleplay can be a part of rp, in my opinion and there is nothing wrong with that. Because,as the cute gnome said, it isn’t sexting. A story can be told through it.
Now, erp in goldshire is something else. I don’t have any problems with it, but there is no story, nothing to be told, just plain sexting because someone is h*rny.
The gnome said it better, i don’t even roleplay tho, so i may be wrong.
It is a bit complicated
RP is a like an onion, there are several layers of it , levels - sorry if this sounded snobish
When you read a book or RP, you become the part of the story; it really depends of the immersion.
If your girl spent days or weeks or more to design her character - built up a personality, backstory, and anything - its imporant you to understand, thats quite a work she invested!
And like in every movie/book/story/RP the 18+ scenes are part of the whole deal and after a certain level of immersion, you can’t just say “fade the black”, or “and the next morning” , playing out the “good part” is as much important as palying out the “bad and sad” parts. It really helps to develop the character’s personality
And the most important thing is, for you to accept, she and and her character are two different thing - sounds a bit wierd, huh?
But true… trust me!
With/Trugh our RP toons we disconects from our IRL, leave behind everything, problems, life, “ourselves”, and for a brief time, become someone else
Like in the theatre, in an act… an actor could have a GF/BF, but if the part requires a kiss or nudity, or anything, its… not “them”, if you catch my drift
Actually, the healthy is to separate the two thing (if not, scary things could happen), you and your char, and if you asks me, your GF did a great job in that. She is able to distance herself from her created presonality, and have fun as “she” (him? ^^) and after the RP is over, she is herself again…
But this is just my two copper :3
Regardless if you’re for, against or just indifferent, saying ERP would be like sexting or cheating is like saying actors cheat on their partners in movies. It’s not the player being intimate, it’s the character they play in the game.
It’s different to be honest, an actor is living the role demanded by the director or the playwright. An RPer is fufilling a role of their own conception, therefore intrinsically linked to their own id and ego.
I disagree. Someone is making up the roles actors play as well, does that make the writers pretentious? Actors in theaters who make their own plays and play their roles, are they pretentious as well? Why is it different because it is digital and not on a real stage? No, playing a character in the game and in theater class is not very different, just in different settings and forms.
And how is comparing playing a character with other people in a digital world with playing a character with a group of people irl in an irl room thinking you are more important than someone else?
One is an artistic pursuit involving study, talent, dedication to craft. Another can vary in quality from a kid living out a power-fantasy to someone exercising their own talents in creative writing; but the idea of “no it’s not cheating, it’s just acting” is quite frankly somewhat disgusting. Not only as the comparison is reductionist towards the arts but the fact that it also advocates for the rationalisation of emotionally harming other people.
Of course one could say couple by couple, which is true, some people have open relationships, morality is shifting and changing with the times as it always has, but in the eyes of western morality it’s simple: Yes it is cheating.
What people do is their own business, but I don’t think they should hide from the raw truthes of it.
Oh and here-
pretentious
/prɪˈtɛnʃəs/
adjective
attempting to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed.
I still haven’t said somewhere that you as a rp’er is more important than someone else. I don’t know about you but I tend to do research to create a character, some people have played their characters for 5-10 years and I’d say that is dedication. What you -do- when you rp is being another being, playing a character and I don’t see it as cheating becuase it’s not you the actual living real person, it’s someone else with another mind, personality, history and thoughts. I don’t think I would do it though if my partner was really against it, but I don’t erp so don’t really have that issue.
I think what the paladin means is that a Roleplayer is fully aware of all the choices of the character because the player makes those choices and not a scriptwriter and a directer as is done in movies. Actors take the role which is most often written by another person and directed by another person, a roleplayer however does all these things by their own choice. *i don’t intend to judge anyone by this, if people erp then that is their business. I’m just trying to understand it)
I think I might have misunderstood you, my point really was that I don’t see it as cheating since it’s not -you- the player, and I thought that if OP who asked about it sees playing the character as playing a role in a movie or theater maybe that helps seeing to why I don’t see it as cheating. That being said, you should have your partners concent if it really bothers them, depending on your relationship.
What a mess it became, but I hope I made it clear what I am trying to say. It’s also how I describe roleplay to someone totally clueless, “like playing theater but in a game”