Would you want to live in Azeroth?

Lore Story
1

Say you’re suddenly transported to the world of Azeroth with adventure, heroics and magic abound! Sounds pretty sweet right?

BZZZZT WRONG

Are you crazy!? Azeroth is basically an Underdeveloped World, that’s right it’s not just one underdeveloped country but the whole freaking world!

When have you ever seen a bathtub in Azeroth? Stormwind may look pretty but oh my god the city must stink and don’t get me started on the canals, enjoying your swim?

YOUR SWIMMING IN WATER SO POLLUTED THAT YOU MIGHT DIE FROM SWALLOWING IT YOU IDIOT!

Takes several deep breaths

Now that’s Stormwind, the height of civilization in the Eastern Kingdoms (sorry gnomes but you kinda nuked your own city) but what about Orgrimmar? Dusty, hot and filled with Orcs who train all day in full armour. Yeah that place will stink.

Thunder Bluff and Mulgore actually didn’t strike me as too bad. These guys respect nature and in turn keep the land clean and healthy, same with Night Elves.

Okay so maybe you can adapt to the lack of hygiene, fair enough.

THE DEAD ARE RISING AND YOUR MUM IS CURRENTLY EATING YOU!

Arthas the Lich King has a huge vendetta against the living so let’s team and fight together!

Actually a good plan, I approve. Okay let’s also send these highly aggressive adventurers to fight the undead for - oh they’re already trying to kill each other.

That’s cool, let’s win anyway yay!

A FREAKING DRAGON THAT CAUSED A PLANET WIDE CATACLYSM HAS APPEARED.

Get me my robe, no the black one, no the other black one! That’s better now I can join that cult on the side is the evil dragon

Of they fully expect to perish along with Azeroth but are happy to help.

Oh the dragon seems dangerous so let’s climb on his back and do some cool stuff.

Aaaand we’re falling but someone else will kill him, yay!

THE WORLD HAD BEEN INVADED BY ALIENS IN SPACESHIPS.

Better go fight them with swords…

Sure the technology on display by the legion is magical and therefore not as powerful as it seems but when SPACESHIPS arrive you don’t just put up a poster and grab your axe.

Oh that worked, yay

Ugh more deep breaths

Azeroth sucks, it must be so hard for people clued in to just leave home. If you live outside a city you may as well accept that you’re running the risk of catching a very serious condition known as dying.

Demons, undead, bandits, wild animals and monsters want to kill you. Azeroth is a bleak world with one war following the last, an unbroken cycle that has left tens of thousands dead.

I don’t wanna live there

2 Likes
2

I would live there if I get to have plot armor

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4

Silvermoon? Yes. Draenor before draenei arrives? Totally. Kezan too perhaps. Those are my favorite locations.

5

it is soulbound to Nathanos Blightcaller sorry.

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6

and sylvanas that managed to escape standing 1 yard in front of like 5 people that were supposed to kill her in Lordaeron

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And who almost died at hands of Malfurion until Varok threw that axe :stuck_out_tongue: and then 2 seconds later was feeling guilty and bad.

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8

Considering the past like 12-14 years the place has been plagued with like 50 different world changing events ranging from continent affecting to world ending then noooooooooope.

Even the “safe spots” are surrounded by things what will kill you, I would love to go outside and to get attacked by races like Gnolls, Murlocs, Giant Spiders etc…

5 Likes
9

Wouldnt do Draenor, Ogres,gronlings,Gron(and Gruul was out there aswell still),hydras, the botani,the saberon,the magnaron(like drov the ruiner),Goren.
Like littelry evrything on Draenor wants to kill you including the plants and the plant people.
Hell even ground probbaly wants to kill you (elementals).

If want safety Draenor is one of last places you should go ever

2 Likes
10

Yes but only if I can choose to be one of those druids that hang out in the emerald dream, or dream grove. That seems to be the only places that are safe havens from war at the moment

11

I would live in Illidans harem in black temple - it looked they had fun in there.

5 Likes
12

Twisting neither no.

Why would i want to live in a world that get invaded by world ending threats every week.
Has leaders more incomptent the real life once’s.
And is a technological downgrade.

Serious there is nothing of azaroth worth saving.
Let it burn.

This response is sponsored by the burning legion.
Burning legion cleaning the galaxie of filth for over 10.000 years.
Join the burning legion today and get a free healthstone.
Talk to your local warlock for more information.

5 Likes
13

Given how your boss is Satan himself, and I can’t imagine Satan is a desirable boss, No thank you.

14

I mean whilst I wouldn’t side with the Legion myself, you have to admit, given the number of historical hellraisers and artists and musicians who apparently were going to Hell, at least it seems like Satan would have all the best parties?

15

Lets see:
Imortality, space travel, Dimentional travel, Multiple worlds.
Defeating the titans.
Multi spieces armies, Clear chain of command.
I mean sure there evil but look at the benifits.
All that and all you have to do is look and kill world souls.
I get to see new worlds, explore strange new civlization and enslave/destroy them for the legion.
What more could you want.
A high king that leaves you to die so save the horde feelings.
Or a horde where the warchief turns evil every 2 years and drowns the entire horde in madness and insanity.
Making otherwise honorable horde into a bloothirsty bunch of monsters.

Granted the legion isnt perfect but what nation in azaroth can claim to have done more then the legion?

On a more serious note:
Pandaria is nice to live since the horde and alliance left.
Good looking lands, nice food and the people are rather nice.
Sure pandarian girls are disgusting but nothing is perfect.

3 Likes
16

He literally never did that… but okay.

17

Realistically without plot armor you would die within a week if transported to azeroth

18

I can cope with the whole old gods thing but I don’t want to live in a world where toilet paper doesn’t exist.

2 Likes
19

just invent it then and become richer then galywix(or maybe dont youl prolly die then)

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20

Chap I went to school with learned this the hard way, during P.E (Physical Education, or ‘Sports’ for those not of UK origin) He’d snuck off the Rugby pitch, a fact we had noticed, as he was a big unit, this lad, not the best player, but proper chonky, and he decided to…ahem, exercise a call of nature in a gully near the playing field, I shall not be indelicate, suffice to say that it was not the liquid call of nature gentlemen have the luxury of spraying around on the turf, but a rather more…solid affair, I am sure you get the idea. So anyway, bereft of toilet paper, unsurprisingly because he was in a gully next to a school playing field, he grabbed a handful of leaves, to cleanse his buttocks.

Sadly for him, he did not check the nature of the leaves. I believe the poet Aaron Hill in 1750 said it best "“Tender-handed stroke a nettle, And it stings you, for your pains: Grasp it like a man of mettle, And it soft as silk remains.”

It seems this also applies to wiping one’s bottom with a bunch of Nettle leaves and stalks. The poor chap ran howling back onto the field, screaming “Dock Leaf! Dock Leaf!” (As Dock Leaves do indeed cure the stings of Nettles) however this was compounded by the teacher running after the poor chap going “For Heavens sake boy, at least pull your pants up!” For he had indeed, burst from the gully and ran screaming in a state of dishabille, his ‘little leg’ flailing around, clutching his bum and shouting “I need Dock Leaf!” Chap never lived it down…

Toilet paper. Always take some with you if going on transcontinental or extraplanar escapades, you never know when it will come in handy…

4 Likes
21

Dwarves, Goblins, even Kul Tirans have probably reached at least the “crumpled up old newspapers” level.

Gnomes and Draenei of course already know how to use the three seashells. :stuck_out_tongue:

Elves, judging by their Middle Eastern architecture must have bidets, and the Nightborne probably simply teleport the poop out of the bowels. Kids in Suramar learn how to do it during potty training.

As for the OP question, I could imagine living in Azeroth. Nightly secret meetings at the Slaughtered Lamb in Stormwind with other warlocks, discussing and researching the mysteries of dark magic, sounds exciting.

2 Likes