He was not prepared to sacrifice everything for me.
So I sacrificed our marriage.
5 Likes
He is so difficult to read 
When I want him to look me in the eyes and talk to me, I never know if he does…
If we are getting closer for a smooch, he always knocks me unconcious with those malplaced horns 
And the drama he creates is just too much… I asked him to pick a turnip from his garden for dinner, and he makes big deal about it, saying how he sacrificed everything and asking what I did - but really, milk isn’t needed in every dish 
15 Likes
She got really cold towards me when I ordered a steak at the restaurant in Dalaran. It fell apart from there. We’re arguing over who has the kids at the moment.
2 Likes
Everyone has those moments, where you try to phrase a breakup the right way, “It’s not you, my love, it’s me who is to blame” and so on.
Yeah, no. It’s not Me, it’s definitely Him to blame. For a start, that helmet. Looks creepy enough, right? Yeah, wears it all the time. Like all the time. Wears it in the shower, wears it up to the corner shop to get the newspaper, wears it whilst doing the washing up, despite knowing it looks ridiculous with a pair of rubber gloves. Wears it in bed, which is creepy, and really expensive in terms of replacement pillows. The other day, I caught them trying to sneak food up under the helmet to eat rather than just taking the helmet off.
Seriously, Did I marry the person, or did I marry the Helmet. Some days I wonder, I really do.
Then the other day, I came back from work just as the postman delivered a small box. I signed for it and went in. He was doing the ironing. In his helmet.
“Box came for you”
I’d say they looked guilty, but how can I tell?
“Yeah, before we open it, there’s something I mean to say… I think we should consider adopting a child”
“What, is that is what is in the box, it’s that easy now, like ordering a ‘Justeat’, it’s like ‘Justadopt’?
(It had been a long day, I was testy)
“No no, nothing like that, just…I was thinking, adopt a kid, make a proper little family, a kid between 6-12 months, open the box, you’ll see what I mean”
So I did. I saw the label first “Designed for a child of 6-12 months” Then saw it. a Tiny metal Helmet, just like His” (Cue the ‘Psycho’ stabby music)
So yeah, thats why I got divorced, Now, I’m cool, living on a yacht, making good money out of interviewing Seagulls for local radio and carrying out opinion survey polls with urban Foxes about the gentrification of our towns.
But somewhere out there, I know he’s there, probably leading a parade in a sadistic parody of the ‘Mickey Mouse’ song, hordes of unwashed children following him, all wearing child sized versions of that damned helmet.
ahem Had to get that off my chest
12 Likes
It was said that you would destroy the Undead, not join the ! It was you who was to bring Peace to Quel’Thalas, not leave it in darkness!
We never understood each other
Never
Just grasped the fleeting moments of happines, hoped the best
We had the experience but missed the meaning
And now?
We are on the opposite side without any hope to repair what was damaged
Recover what was lost, long long ago…
Its time to say goodbye
And never look back, because you would see me cry and you hate tears
2 Likes
Ugh, seriously, enough with the whining, and crying it is too much… I’m leaving you, for someone who won’t be such a baby.
By the way, I’m taking my milk back! You don’t deserve it!
1 Like
He got mad that I kept using his horns as a hanger for my clothes. 
2 Likes
We had a disagreement on how far is to far.
I mean there is no such thing as too much power.
I am still me.
I just hear a few more voices then i did before.
But no she is all like:
Your an abomination.
You shoud feel ashame.
Pah.
Puritian.
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We kept cursing each other every time we had an argument.
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The stench of undead was one thing and luckily they have a parfum for it these days… but when i asked her to patch up her bones, so i would not have to see all her bones sticking out.
She told I should accept her the way she is and that was the final straw for me so i asked for a divorce
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Our love for engineering, especially explosive devices.
It was a blast off a time, but once we accidently set teldrassil on fire with our latest experiment and managed to frame the horde for it. it was best to go our seperate ways
6 Likes
I still mis you though 
( just kidding)
I learned of your secret wife, only to find out she had prettier goggles and wilder hair than me.
Rather than facing such an uphill struggle, I saw myself out.
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I discovered, the rumors about Elisande’s Gnome concubine were… greatly greatly exaggerated
He told me I needed to go to the barbershop and freshen up my look.
Apparently coming back as a man was not what he had in mind.
7 Likes
You are so cute but you are just to short for me …
We shall never divorce.
Because we just did.
It was good to start, then after a few months it was all Voodoo. And the amount of Totems he bought from Mechagnome Prime, I mean, how many tremor totems can one Shaman have? ‘But its in purple, but its bigger, but this is the new version etc…’ not to mention he would leave them everywhere, and the amount of time i stubbed my toes…
But I tried, i really did, but when I found him meeting with a blood troll, that was the last straw. I gave him an ultimatum - me or the blood trolls.
Guess what he chose 
1 Like
When I discovered the guards caught you in Goldshire, in the Lion’s Pride…?
I know it is over