I think this is what stood out for me (besides the condescending way of describing his ‘preferred females’ to be soft but also brave healer types). He wants them to be a cishet woman, and doesn’t want to know if they’re even trans - which apparently would spoil the experience for him a little.
I can see why he projects the weirdness of doing this with a friend onto others, when he seems invested in any romance RP partner’s OOC identity, even if he tries to preface it.
I cannot be farther from misogyny really. I even said that calling my roleplaying and adventuring partner a “pocket healer” is offensive for me before it could be offensive for my RP partner, let alone that I never even implied that they must be a healing spec/class to begin with as many ignorant trolls here understood.
“Tones” are subjective, and anyone can damn well “feel” whatever tone they wish to feel from whatever piece of text they read, so I’m not even gonna ask about tone. “Words,” though, are objective, and they have dictionary definitions. So, you’re welcome to tell me which words or expressions indicate misogyny. And if none indicate that, then you can at least tell me why misogynistic circles would use such neutral words & expressions, because that would be very interesting for me to know.
And regarding your suggestion, while it’s appreciated, I already responded to it in my last long response above; although I used to divide my time between RP and PvE content almost evenly years ago, I just don’t have the time for this anymore, and your suggestion would be very time-consuming. It would require me to be a “roleplayer,” if not full-time or hardcore, then at least dividing my time evenly between RP and PvE. And as I indicated in my OP, I cannot do this; I do want to gear up and raid at some point, so the best I can do is maybe give 10 to 20 minutes of RP for every 80 to 90 minutes of dungeons or questing. And this kind of RP time won’t be enough to help something like this develop organically. Moreover, organic development of such things will most probably imply that I’m almost a full-time roleplayer or leaning toward hardcore roleplaying; there are lots of guilds like that on AD, and that’s not what I want to imply at all, because I can’t commit that much time to RP anymore.
Well the neutral terms are kinda dehumanizing innit. It’s why they call any woman who doesn’t give them the time a day “female” for example and break them down to further adjectives as they objectify them.
Many hardcore roleplayers do a lot of high end content too. Perhaps the focus on finding your perfect healing companion would be to offer to tank for some rp guild and go from there. If the mountain doesn’t come to Mohammed, etc.
I’ve got to ask, how in the seven hells is “pocket healer” toxic? I am so confused by this. It has never once been refered to as something bad. Ever. In the history of gaming. Ever.
Because they never really heal the rest of the team.
ok, i’ll bite (fresh food off the hook)
Why would it be weird, especially with writing partners you know? You’re not dating your characters, you’re not dating the person behind the screen, you’re writing a story together. The creepiness comes from the entire list of rules for the most part anyway, not that it’s a romance RP.
Usually, in those organic relationships you’ll also find out those lines organically, instead of having to be proffered a list. You know, how normally people do in real life or idk, am I just crazy here? Someone with a social status please confirm or deny.
‘oh haha you guys are so beneath my intelligence haha i am so smart snort but i’ll offer this MODICUM of explanation for you anyway because haha i am so gracious and did i mention smart?’
10-20 minutes of roleplaying is like, what - five back and forth emotes? So more like, just time to write five romance RP emotes with one hand, innit? 
I get that you posted this on AD forums because of the RP component, but you probably have better luck on PvE realms anyway by just saying ‘hey i wanna cyber on the side btw thx’.
what;
also, nobody welcomes that - instead, more likely they’re worried this is what it’s about in general. Especially with how you bring out Goldshire a few times.
How about you answer the question anyway instead of blaming the askers; your requirements for the other PERSON (not the character, but putting colour-specific restrictions is still very questionable there!) do not at all need to be there. Are you implying a man cannot write a woman’s side of the story? Why do they need to be female? Is it perhaps, not you trying to get off from this pretend-relationship with the woman, but only when you feel like it (and disregarding her needs), because of the very dumb ‘i only RP for 20 minutes max’ bit.
That’s fine - I am not that big on RPing any more either because of my disillusionment with the franchise; but when I do, it’ll still be more than 20 brief minutes per session. How do you expect to do anything in that timeframe? Or is your expectancy of the romance RP just ‘oh the woman cooks for me and i give her a kiss, ok that’s done now join my group for the dung’?
All in all, it’ll also feel very fabricated and synthetic.
More than likely they were just the same, or how did you ensure they were female? Did you request some forms of identification in their CV for applying to be your partner, or what?
So is this your actual plan then? To put in under the pretense of ‘look at my NiceGuy elf, become his gf!’ and then ‘lose it in the immersion’ so you can feel you actually talked to a woman IRL?
‘oh i CANNOT be misogynistic, i LIKE females after all!!!’
A woman shouldn’t need to give you a list of words or tonal differences not to be used for you to get why something might not be accepted or misogynistic. That you don’t understand what’s offensive in your main posts is also a bit telling alongside of everything else.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rokmore. Their view on romance is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of their reasoning will go over a typical reader’s head. There’s also Rokmore’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. True smart people understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these words, to realise that they’re not just insightful and witty- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rokmore truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rokmore’s existential catchphrase “Pocket Healer,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Rokmore’s genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools… how I pity them. 
Aggressive and overtly ‘hostile’ misogyny isn’t its only form – condescension and infantilisation can be equally as damaging.
That’s interesting. You feel that the word “female” is objectifying? Hmm. Well, I did say also “male,” because I described things that have to do with both genders. So, does that mean that I also objectify “males”? I mean, if I said “men” here and said “females” there, I would totally believe you, yes. However, I did say “male” just as I said “female,” and that’s because I follow up by covering a similar approach to non-cis genders. An approach that some illiterate trolls, again, understood in the sense that I don’t want to hear about it, when what I meant is that I’m comfortable hearing about the feminine but would rather not hear about the masculine, and we keep communication 99% in-character. And this, goes to prove that I’m open to doing this with a male player; I just don’t want to know their gender, that’s all. And it should be obvious that this is because I’m a straight male (hey, look at me “objectifying” myself, huh? Hehe.) And yes, while we’re not our characters, there’s something called immersion, which at least occasionally makes you forget that, and I already explained that that’s why game players say “I died,” that’s why gamers feel actual, palpable fear when playing horror g ames, and that’s why people cry sometimes when watching movies, even though the movies aren’t real. It is this immersion that would make me much more comfortable not knowing that my romance co-writer is male or masculine; that’s all. But I’m open to do it with one, ain’t I!
Just write woman/women, why is that so problematic?
Also you don’t need to put a wall of text with 0 space between sentences to each reply, it makes it awful to read.
yeah, why don’t you
Do you know how they when a frenchy gives a critical observation?
Scroutony.
Woman/women? Why not girl/girls? Or lady? See the problem here or do you need explanation?
Either one is a million times better than “Female” in my own opinion tbh.
I like rambling so you people will be subjected to a bit more of that.
There’s a very important distinction to make between the moment where I use the ingame character to participate to ingame activities and the moments I RP. In say raid, the ingame character is not standing up for anything else than what it is; I don’t play Narmë, I play a blood elf hunter who spec MM. Not even the pets are dependant of “Narmë”, they’ll be what I player find cool or useful.
In those moments, the ingame character stands for myself, an avatar, therefor “I died to mechanics.”
When I write, the ingame character stands for Narmë, that creation of mine who have a personality, tastes, etc. Who are not necessarily mine, but makes sense in her internal logic. (See? I’m already calling her “her” instead of it.) What I’ll put on the ingame character, what pet I’ll use, etc. Are dependant not of my tastes (or not entirely, I’m still the creator behind of course) but of what makes sense for the entity “Narmë”
What I’m getting at is that the ingame character is a relatively neutral vessel that can either be me player, or the best approximation for they, characters I’m writing. It’s an important distinction.
(It’s also why on discords, etc. I prefer to be called by my pseudo rather than character names, but not always possible.)
Hell, if I’m going to romance, it’ll ONLY be with writing partners i know. The one time i tried it outside of that requirement, I was burned (plus i don’t really like it anyway).
And no, its not weird, its not weird when my friend plays a character of the opposite gender to them and romances my characters and its not weird when i play a character of the opposite gender to me.
Wait… that doesn’t even hold up. How can the communication be 99% IC when you only spend 10-20% of the time with that person roleplaying and the rest is PvE activities?
I prefer to do romance RP with good friends if I do, because then all boundaries are known.
There is also not a chance of the person suddenly starting to act well…like the OP & or demand to take it to an OOC level as well.
The latter is super-common.
Yeah, that too.
he’s roleplaying being stuck in a time loop which explains why it’s possible to do sanguine depths four times in a row and fight the same guys over and over again