Make a dark confession (if you dare!) 😱

Ishayo-frostmane · January 21, 2022, 9:06am

I cannot get Windows to work for more than a few hours at a time and I’m a software engineer. I always find some extraordinary way to break it virtually immediately, which is why I am now concerned that Microsoft is buying Blizzard.

Here’s the dark confession part though: Virtually nobody else is as good at breaking Windows as I am apparently and yet for some reason I couldn’t get a job at Microsoft as a tester during my student years despite their office being right down the road.

This has finally come full circle to spiral me into a dark, brooding depression.

Wtf Microsoft?

Kosejarl-ravencrest · January 21, 2022, 9:08am

What error codes show up in event viewer?

Ishayo-frostmane · January 21, 2022, 9:08am

Literally all of them dude.

Kosejarl-ravencrest · January 21, 2022, 9:11am

Sounds like a clean install is due? Also avoid any hyperX products as their drives as they have a tendency to BSOD windows.

Twiluna-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 9:13am

have you tried turning it off and on again?

Ishayo-frostmane · January 21, 2022, 9:26am

Stop trying to give me technical support, I know the inner workings of that pile of garbage better than anybody would ever want to. I mean granted, I don’t know the actual code, but I certainly know the system architecture.

I’ve reinstalled Windows so many times and on so many different computers that it beggars belief. People with literally my exact hardware config are doing fine but my stuff’s just breaking left right and centre.

This is a joke thread about dark confessions and I gave mine, so this is the last post I’ll give on the matter. I’ve gone to Linux years ago and I’m staying there, booting Windows only when I absolutely must. Let’s leave room for what the thread is for. However I can humour everybody with some of the absurdities that I have experienced over the last couple of months when trying to play some games that wouldn’t work in Linux.

Phasmophobia wasn’t working because I installed my operating system in Danish and “Cortana isn’t supported in Denmark”. As a result Cortana wasn’t installed at all. It took over an hour to install her. The first 15 minutes were spent trying to find out how to install her.
I had an admin account and my regular user account, but this caused me a lot of problems for two reasons. Firstly, if you try to install a game it’ll tell you to log in as admin, which I will then of course do, and then it’ll install it for the admin account. The DRM will assume I should be the admin and all the shortcuts will be dropped in the admin’s start menu.
Secondly, there seems to be a level between admin and user that’s kindda like an “admin but I didn’t bother asking” level. Apparently rather a lot of programs require this level, such as NVIDIA Broadcast. You won’t actually believe how much time I spent trying to find out why NVIDIA Broadcast crashed silently on start-up. I also can’t get access to the Device Manager and many other things. Eventually these kinds of errors with the admin user account setup got so bad I reinstalled Windows because it was unusable.
I replaced my entire motherboard from an Intel to an AMD build. I replaced the RAM, too. And then Windows was like “This looks like the same PC to me!” Then I replaced the monitor 3 months later and Windows was like “Nah! That’s friggin’ crossing the line! Now it’s a new computer.” Fortunately for me I have a personal license and not an OEM license, so that wasn’t a problem. What was a problem is that it started the OOBE and now has set the whole thing up in such a way that it takes over 4 minutes to boot Windows from cold boot where it used to take less than 10 seconds on the same machine. This state of affairs is inexplicable, but I put it down to “lol Windows”
At work I have a laptop which got a firmware update from Dell after which I can plug the computer out of its dock, but if I plug it back in the system will not be able to detect any USB devices in the dock, though everything else about it works despite it being a Thunderbolt dock. Then, if I plug it out again, the device will BSOD. I am the only one who has this problem. IT has replaced the laptop 3 times - and every time it works I install the firmware update, which of course IT recommends. Idk if every single other person in the entire company doesn’t install firmware updates or if I’m cursed, but it’s gotta be one of them.
World of Warcraft in DirectX 12 mode will sometimes freeze, showing the very first image it ever rendered when I started it. Now, why this image is retained I do not know, but there you go. By contrast, when using VKD3D12 on Linux on the exact same game and hardware? No problem! I’m the only person I know of who has this issue.
Windows Search. I mean, I’m just gonna leave that there. This ain’t my fault.
I once tried installing Windows on BTRFS (A UNIX file system created by Oracle). It was pretty great until it wasn’t. This was definitely my fault though but it was kindda fun.
Every time I start Windows it has to repair my drive. It never finds anything, but it always has to. Every time.
So I installed this Skyrim modlist and it wasn’t working because some files couldn’t be read, but the files were there so wtf gives right? Well, it turns out that Windows can’t read files whose full path is longer than 256 characters… sometimes. And sometimes it can. It depends on which API is being called. So basically you can unzip it to that location in 7zip but then Skyrim can’t find it and you can’t use Explorer to delete it again, but you can navigate there with PowerShell and remove it, but it won’t work with cmd.
When I first got my work laptop I was informed by the preinstalled Dell software that the power supply could only supply xxxxxW but this computer required xxxxxW. Now, you might think those xxxxx are placeholders in my story, but they are not; they are placeholders in the program. It was probably supposed to say 65W or 75W or whatever, I don’t know, but what I do know is that it didn’t. This isn’t Microsoft software of course, but it’s still a core part of the experience of using Windows on OEM laptops.

I think I’ll just stop here.
So, as you can see, this is not hardware events and it’s mostly not BSOD’ing. It’s just broken trash strewn about everywhere ruining my day.

It should also be noted it wasn’t always like this. I never had problems before Windows 8.

Heramaar-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 9:29am

Oi, where can I check mine?

Kosejarl-ravencrest · January 21, 2022, 9:29am

As you wish! You seemed like you need it if you fail to use windows at a basic level, so was trying to be helpful.

Have a good day now software engineer!

Ishayo-frostmane · January 21, 2022, 9:32am

I friggin’ wish a stranger on the internet could help me but I’m pretty sure you can’t. Thanks for offer but this is the wrong place for it.

I think fundamentally Windows works okay as long as you just use the basics. Use the default account, install apps, run them.

But as soon as you actually need to use Windows, oh my god then it’s a whole another matter.

There’s a reason over 30% of software engineers prefer or use Linux, and it’s even higher in research institutions. Mac also has a good spot. It’s like the total inversion of the real world - in the real world 90% use Windows, but in software research institutions across the universities 90% don’t.

Shihiroki-kirin-tor · January 21, 2022, 9:42am

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
Out of thing that I saw
One night wandering in the Elwynn forest
I’d one drink but no more

I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight
Gazing up at the stars
Not aware of a presence so near to me
Watching my every move

Feeling scared I fell to my knees
As something rushed me from the inn
Took me to an unholy place
That is where I fell from grace

Then they summoned me over to join in with them
At the dance of the inn
Into the circle of nudes I followed them
Into the middle I was led

As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear
But still I wanted to go
And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me
As I steped onto the pics

And I felt that I was in a trance
And my spirit was lifted from me
And if only someone had the chance
To witness what happened to me

And I **bleep*f and I pranced and I sang with them
All had thirst in their eyes
Lifeless figures, they were undead all of them
They had ascended from hell

As I danced with the hornies my free spirit was laughing
And howling down at me
For my horny body just danced the circle of lust

'Til the time came to reunite us both
My spirit came back down to me
Didn’t know if I was alive or dead
As the others all joined in with me

By luck then a skirmish started and took the attention away from me
When they took their gaze from me was the moment that I fled
I ran like hell, faster than the wind but behind I did not glance
One thing that I did not dare was to look just straight ahead

When you know that your time has come around
You know you’ll be prepared for it
Say your last goodbyes to everyone

When you’re lying in your sleep, when you’re lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the hornies
When you’re lying in your sleep, when you’re lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the hornies

To this day I guess I’ll never know
Just why they let me go
But I’ll never go dancing no more
'Til I dance with the erper

Minck-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 9:43am

I messed up the screen settings so my girlfriend thought we needed a new TV.
Guys, it worked…

Twiluna-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 9:44am

lmao genius xD

Ishayo-frostmane · January 21, 2022, 9:46am

Teach me the ways.

Punyelf-draenor · January 21, 2022, 11:31am

In game you press Y or open your Achievements Tab
Go to the Statistics tab
Click on ‘Social’ Section

Tada!!!

Tokyojoe-eonar · January 21, 2022, 11:49am

It took me a long time to figure out that arcane orb gives me combo points for each mob it passes through! Nobody noticed or knew until I admitted just now. Oh yes and that mage had the mote of anger trinket for melle from nathanos but it had decent crit on it for the ilvl. haha.

Tokyojoe-eonar · January 21, 2022, 11:51am

totally forgot about that emote!

Heramaar-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 12:09pm

Will for sure check mine.

Brigante-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 12:32pm

I once crashed a pedal bike into a parked police car with two policemen in it whilst riding the wrong way up a one way street whilst I was drunk?

Oh, WoW ones!

I once spent a drunken evening heckling Erper’s in Goldshire "That’s not how sex works!, What the hell description is that, does your character have elephantiasis? " "That’s biologically impossible! How is that supposed to even sound pixel sexy! For hours. (I was really bored, and it was a long time back and I think I’d probably been dumped recently and was in a bitter and vengeful mood) Next evening I really needed a dungeon doing, I was playing Alliance on my human, and when the group formed, lo and behold, the leader was one of the sex fiends I had been mercilessly haranguing for their ERP antics the night before, but I was so desperate to get that dungeon done, that I said nothing, and hoped they didn’t get me kicked from the dungeon group in case I started in on them again. I should have said something…even a cheap jibe like “I bet this isn’t the only kind of dungeon you’re used to…” But I said nowt. I still feel dirty about it now.

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa…

Alewín-argent-dawn · January 21, 2022, 12:45pm

The further towards the bottom of my raid frames a player is, the less healing they get from me. I’m used to tanks and raid leaders being at the top and that’s where my attention gets focussed… it’s not on purpose I swear!

Ponytaîl-elune · January 21, 2022, 1:15pm

I’ve never even played a race that doesn’t have the hairstyle I like and most likely never will at this point

Make a dark confession (*if you dare!*) 😱

Make a dark confession (if you dare!) 😱