The guileful combatant slips past the paladin’s guard, and thrusts their dagger forward, to find an opening in his armour… only to bounce off the divine shield. The paladin hefts his warhammer and swings it at a speed faster than any man ought to be able to. The combatant’s skull is crushed faster than if it was gripped by an Orcish woman’s thighs.
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The agile, competent spearman evades the incoming blow by deftly sidestepping, making enough space to thrust his spear into the chest of his enemy.
The 10 feet tall Tauren Death Knight grabs the spear, pulls the spearman closer then flattens him with his warhammer, leaving little more than a patch of blood and scraps of armor in the crater his blow left in the ground.
5 Likes
Emote fights, duels and spars are my peeve, thanks for reminding me. Extra common in certain guilds.
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Honestly Brigs example is even more unlikely than a dude actually using two handed hammers. It caters to all the fantasies of a quick and agile rogue by assuming the big bad boy in plate carrying a two hander is encumbered and slow of mind. I’ve played enough rugby as a back trying to do fancy steps to know that the big beefy boy isn’t as slow a he looks, and is capable of reading my body language and movement. The difference is I got another shot after I fail. The rogue gets his head smashed in.
The rogue with the daggers has to somehow get close and hit these very small weak points. At the same time, unlike the guy in plate, his entire body is a target. They had their use in history, in the Spanish Square against pikemen but that’s because they were busy looking at the pikemen on the other end.
2 Likes
Poisons, enchanted daggers, superhuman agility & shadow magic/trickery are the fantasy rogue’s solutions to fantasy problems.
I will never have an emote fight of any description with another player unless I know them/trust them to do it well. But I’m also someone who thinks dialogue/interaction > combat in RP anyway.
3 Likes
I’ll combat you with dialogue then. You’re as repulsive as a monkey in a negligée.
That’s not what ur mum said
dabs on u
Every enemy I’ve met I’ve annihilated.
1 Like
A little bit too late to join armour rant, but my pet peeve is when people, with some foam out of their mouths, try to prove that swimming in armour is impossible.
Literally 1 youtube search, you toasters ![:japanese_goblin:](https://d1bg94bbsh66ji.cloudfront.net/en/wow/images/emoji/twitter/japanese_goblin.png?v=6" ":japanese_goblin:")
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Pft. Bet he can’t do that blindfolded, backwards with his arms tied to his waste.
Then we’ll see who can swim in armour.
Peeve: I can’t seem to post outside of this sub-forum now. Not sure if bug or blizzard idiocy.
To be fair, WoW armour would often be like swimming whilst wearing a volvo. But to be exceedingy fair, some of those metals are stated to be extra light and paladins outright cheat with their light gifted super strength.
How convenient, you fight like a cow.
…
Yeah I spent a long time on that part trying to get it right. ![:pensive:](https://d1bg94bbsh66ji.cloudfront.net/en/wow/images/emoji/twitter/pensive.png?v=6" ":pensive:")
That might be because WoW armor certainly isn’t as light as IRL armor in a lot of cases
And characters, that wear this armour on a daily basis, are much weaker than your average youtuber.
So is the general agreement that trying to be super realistic in a setting built up from comic book rule of cool is a lesson in futility designed only to annoy both you and the person you are trying to force it upon?
7 Likes
Just wanted to say that swords aren’t as useless against armor as one might think due to techniques such as murderstroke and half-swording.
1 Like
I’d be inclined to treat it as pure trolling if I didn’t know better with the way some people are absolutely fanatical about the minutiae of this stuff. There’s probably a venn diagram in regards to certain people with certain interests and tastes in RP when it comes to this excessive devotion to arms and armour pedantry.
I mean, I like history as much as the next nerd out there but my myopic hangups are at least rational!
3 Likes
Yes, let me wear nothing but my oincloth into battle without anyone calling me out on how stupid it is damn it! It’s the orc way.
Magic Loin Cloth maybe.
As for realistic armour and weapons… Warriors naturally dual wield two handers, realistic expectations for combat kinda left expansions ago.